Asking "why me?" and experiencing unconditional love...

2 days ago, I went to the ER. I had been in bed almost the entire afternoon and while experiencing severe abdominal pains I had thrown up. After that the pain became more manageable….if I laid in bed and didn’t really move :)

My husband, who as usual, was being saintly and had gone to help a nearby city with tornado relief work, came home late afternoon, took my temperature and called the on call oncologist after the temp read 101.5. The doc said to take me to the ER and that started our super fun 20 hours in the hospital.

You can see a short summary of what went down while we were there here:

Throughout this cancer journey I’ve had a lot of wonderings. Just like anyone might, I’ve wondered why (or how) this could possibly be happening to me. I completely changed my nutrition in 2012 - I completely changed my whole lifestyle to focus on health and wellness after 2016. I worked on healing my gut and balancing my hormones (really effectively) since 2017….. I saw drastic improvements in many facets of my life and I’ve helped dozens of clients heal their bodies as well…..and then I got diagnosed with cancer. What the heck?

Firstly, I’m not going to answer that question, because I can’t. Secondly, after a lot of thought (and finding pictures from 2 years ago of my single tumor that has never spread) I didn’t feel like all the work I’d put in was useless. I know that I did what I could when I could with what I knew at the time and that it surely strengthened my body.

Even so…some people WAY less healthy go through chemo and still work full time, function as parents and live seemingly normal lives while others (like me) get knocked out, sleep a lot, and get side effects or complications….

With my history and dedication to health building and disease prevention for the past 3-5 years, I was convinced I would be the patient with no complications and the fewest side effects….I was going to breeze through this cancer thing with 6 treatment in 3 months and then say goodbye to it forever!

But then my port suture wanted to get infected and I had to go on an antibiotic….then this past weekend happened and I had to be admitted to the hospital…..

And all these questions of:

“Why can’t my body handle this? I went in so strong!”

“This is really taking a toll on me, did I make the right decision choosing conventional medicine for this treatment?”

“I have to be on another antibiotic, what will people think about that when I usually avoid them like the plague? How do I feel about it?”

…come in.

In addition to the complications, there is the regular and expected trauma of my hair falling out more and more every day… so what was once a semi- passable GI-JANE look is now an uneven, scraggle of fuzz that is embarrassing to leave uncovered. #hellobaseballcaps

“Why me? Why this reaction? Why now?”

I have no idea. But I don’t dwell too much on those questions. Because the answer doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter WHY God chose me, it just matters that He did. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand it right now, it just matters that I will. It doesn’t matter that I’m not sure what I’m learning, it just matters that I will learn from this.

Last night, after spending the previous evening in hospital beds and being woken up every hour almost on the dot for blood draws, shots, IVs etc….Patrick and I were exhausted. Happily at home, in our own beds, and after several hours of napping for each of us, we spontaneously started cuddling and kissing and it felt super magical and connected….until I remembered what I was going through, what was happening to my body, and what I currently look like. I started crying and tear up even as I write this. Because I realized that Patrick was loving me and behaving towards me as if nothing had changed. As if I was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him and that it made no difference if I have hair or not. It was so overwhelming to be so vulnerable in that moment and just accept that he really does love me no matter what.

A lot of people talk more about their faith than I do. A lot of people pray more, do devotions more frequently or use spiritual language more. So a lot of times I feel “less spiritual than” when I don’t sprinkle God into every video or post I make ….but all I can tell you is this. My faith is a deep and intricate part of my very being and whenever I share it I want it to be completely sincere. Whether I pray about every decision prior to making it or not, I make the decisions I do based on what I believe. My Christian belief system completely affects the glasses I see the world through and how I react to situations mentally and emotionally every single day. It affects how I treat people, how I verbally respond when I’m frustrated about something, and how I think about these “why me’s”.

I don’t often get that “warm fuzzy” feeling or any sort of spiritual “woosh” when I pray or go to church. And here’s the thing. The way Patrick loves me, as overwhelming as it felt last night, is how God loves me (and you) every single day. He doesn’t care if you’re overweight, bald, sick, impatient, or flat out ugly inside or out. He loves you unconditionally and honestly, he doesn’t expect a single thing back from you except a desire to be in a relationship with Him.

While I was crying last night and Patrick was holding me tightly in his arms, I said “I feel like you love me so much and I don’t do enough for you in return.” And he just replied “You make me happy and that’s enough.”

WOAH. Can’t get more Jesus-y than that. All God wants from us is to be in a relationship with Him. That makes Him happy and that’s enough.

Now the real question isn’t why me, or why now….it’s….WOW. Can I accept this? I don’t FEEL worthy….but he says I am. So I can wallow in this sense of self doubt and worthlessness….or I can simply accept the love I’m given. No strings attached.

Hormone Supporting Coleslaw

say whaaaaaaaaat?!

Hey Hey Diva friends!! What the heck is hormone supporting coleslaw? Am I joking?! No my friends I am NOT and you should get EXCITED because this is one super healthy, super delicious, and (yay!) super EASY recipe....

Let's touch on the benefits of each ingredient first.

*This post contains affiliate links from Amazon*

Cabbage. Estrogen dominance is a very common hormonal imbalance in women. Processed foods that mimic estrogen, chemical exposure and poor detox ability can all contribute to estrogen dominance. Cabbage is a cruciferous vegetable and cruciferous veggies have phytochemicals called insoles which help you metabolize your estrogen down the healthiest pathway possible. (more on that when my next podcast drops on July 16!) In addition. green veggies in general are great for supporting your liver and digestion both of which are super important in regulating your hormone balance! 

Coconut Mayo. This is your source of healthy fats. Healthy fats are CRUCIAL for balanced hormones. A low fat, low carb diet is often a precursor for hormone imbalances. Coconut oil provides nutrients needed for hormone production AND it can assist in calming inflammation.

Raisins. Mostly in here for flavor, raisins are a dense source of carbohydrates which (as stated above) are necessary in whole foods form and in healthy proportions to maintain hormone balance. Turns out, they are also a great source of magnesium, iron and boron which studies have shown boost your absorption of magnesium AND beneficially impact your use of estrogen.

Bacon - YES BACON. This is in here because well....it tastes darn good :)

Easy Peasy Coleslaw

Ingredients:

• Cabbage
• Applegate Sunday Bacon
• Organic Raisins
• Chosen Foods Coconut Mayo (or any other clean, healthy fat based mayo like avocado or olive oil)

Directions: 

1. Cut about half the cabbage into shredded pieces
2. Cook the bacon until crisp
3. Mix 2 large spoonfuls of mayo into the cabbage ( I actually melted mine down first to thoroughly coat the cabbage)
4. Crumble the bacon onto the cabbage mix
5. Add approximately 1/2 cup raisins or until it looks visually decent :)
6. Mix well and keep refrigerated!

When things aren't perfect...hacking your digestion and PMS bonus tips!

Hey Hey Diva friends!

Recently I've been sharing my free guide: 5 steps to crushing your PMS where I share my biggest lifestyle tips on how to reduce inflammation, support your hormones, and get your cycle back on track. These are simple, but big steps  and ones that may take some time to implement....

So....what happens if you're say...on vacation like I was when my last period started and things are NOT to perfect? You're drinking coffee, enjoying some sweet treats....etc....

Here are some extra bonus hacks to go along with the guide to dig a little deeper and give your body that extra support!

4 bonus tips to crush your PMS

1) Take extra nutrients.

During our vacation I KNEW I would be splurging so I planned ahead and purchased some Bulletproof Unfair Advantage

This little liquid supplement is good for your brain, cells and mitochondrial health. I took 2-3 a day while on vacation!!!

You may also want to increase your magnesium intake as stress (travel) can deplete it (most of us are already deficient!). I like Dr. Mercola L Threonate as it's one form of magnesium that has been shown to cross the blood brain barrier. Magnesium is important in over 700+ enzymatic functions in the body including recovery, muscle soreness, energy, and quality sleep!

2) Get on top of inflammation.

I knew my period was coming, even though I thought it would come once I got HOME....so I wanted to make sure I stayed on top of any inflammation that may occur from less than stellar nutrition choices that week. I made sure to take 1-2 fish oil supplements at each meal in addition to eating lots and lots of REAL fish that was easily available at the resort!

We (American's) are often too high in omega 6 fatty acids. This is often due to poor diet and exposure to processed oils like soy, peanut, and canola in our processed foods and not enough omega 3s which are anti inflammatory. One 3s are found in fish, walnuts, and seeds like chia and flax. Recommendations vary but an acceptable ratio is 4:1 omega 6 to omega 3 and most in America are more like 26:1. Ideally in a perfect world you could get 1:1.

I also took some ALEVE. Not much, but I have had SUCH pain in the past it made me nervous if I felt anything at all and I wanted to stay on top of it. NSAIDS can really wreak havoc on your stomach lining and gut in general. Often regular use of NSAIDS for pain, sinus infections etc... are a precursor for leaky gut and inflammation in the first place. So we want to avoid them as much as possible. They can however provide a valuable service on occasion when used in the appropriate way.

I do try to balance my NSAID use with a scoop of Innate - GI RESPONSE which is loaded with gut soothing and healing ingredients. This allows me to rest easy and I would recommend taking a scoop along with the NSAID.

**I would also not recommend you continue taking ALEVE every 2-3 hours or anything like that...take as minimal a dose as you can to feel comfortable and move on.

3) Digestive enzymes.

I take these anyways but if you don't you might want to on vacation. I ADD one on vacation called GlutenEase in case of cross contamination. The nice thing about this particular supplement however is that it also helps you break down casein so if I am choosing to eat extra dairy for example, I'll still take one. 

Enzymes are just an extra boost to help your break down and process your food efficiently. The LAST thing you want on vacation is to get constipated or bloated - yuck!

4) DETOX.

Let's face it - NO ONE is perfect on vacation. You may want to include some gentle detox a few times that week. Activated charcoal is a great natural binder. It swoops in and grabs things like heavy metals, toxins, and things that may cause you discomfort, bloating or gas. It binds to those buggers and sweeps them out with your poo. :) 

Let's just stop for a moment and clarify that I am NOT recommending you take these additional steps as an EXCUSE to binge and party for a week. We still ate incredibly healthy while on vacation - got lots of vitamin D, even worked out several times that week. But out of our normal routine we also included lots of treats, we relaxed, didn't stress and enjoyed our time and food.

Stress can play a MAJOR factor in how you feel, how you digest, and how your body handles your next cycle. I am happy to report than when my period came it was non-eventful. No pain, issues - just hello I'm here, have a nice day.

To ME that is progress. To ME who used to WRITH on the floor in pain, that is a miracle.  So a few dietary tweaks, a few changes here and there, thinking ahead for vacation...TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Think you can't have a perfect period? Think it's too good to be true? Download my free guide today and get started!

*Kylene is an Amazon associate and the links provided in this post are affiliate links.

I suffer from adrenal fatigue....what now?

Hey Hey Diva Friends!

Hey all! Thank you so much for taking the survey recently - if you haven't had a chance yet please take 2 minutes to answer few questions below so I can provide more information and fun content that YOU want...

I was reviewing your answers and one question stuck out to me and I got really excited to answer it!
 

"I suffer from adrenal fatigue like many women.
How can gut health, diet, or exercise help?"

I LOVE THIS QUESTIONS because I too have struggled with adrenal fatigue. In fact being aware of adrenal fatigue and the importance of hormones was what prompted to seek natural healing paths and ultimately led me to FDN!

 Gut health, diet, and exercise are CRUCIAL components in the healing process so let's talk about each one...But before I jump into that, what IS adrenal fatigue? HPA axis dysfunction is the sciency-term for what we commonly call adrenal fatigue. There's a lot of huffing and puffing going on about the name of it because the more we learn about what it actually is, the more we realize it's not that your adrenals are tired but it's actually a breakdown in your stress regulation system.
 

Your hypothalamus receives signals from your environment (mental, emotional, or external) that communicate stress. Your hypothalamus then translates that information to your pituitary gland and your pituitary gland tells your adrenals what hormones to pump out. When we are in an acute stress state your adrenals are pumping out adrenaline, cortisol, and other fight or flight hormones.

Typically, this stress goes away shortly and there is a feed back loop where your adrenals communicate back to your brain effectively shutting everything back down and your body returns to homeostasis. Adrenal fatigue is when this hypothalmus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis has been activated so long, that the wires get crossed and the feedback loop is no longer effective. When this happens certain hormones become imbalanced and your body cannot regulate them in the appropriate ratios anymore. 

This is  when people begin to feel symptoms of fatigue, exhaustion, inability to cope with stress, blood sugar irregulation, anxiety and more.

There are many reasons that this can happen. Severe acute stress or trauma can induce adrenal fatigue, but more commonly in our society it's brought on by chronic stress. Chronic stress can be environmental (think mold or chemical overload), nutritional, mental/emotional, or physical. So let's talk about gut health, diet and exercise and they can help or hinder your healing process.

Gut Health 

Your gut is commonly called the "second brain" but some experts wish it was more accurately called the first brain. Your gut sends more signals to your brain than your brain does to your gut. That's right....your gut essentially controls your brain. All those little microbiota in there are crucial for brain health... 2 parts of the HPA axis are in....the BRAIN! 

You can get really in depth and talk about the science of how neurotransmitters and hormones are regulated in the gut, or you can go the woo-woo route and talk about how you manifest stress in the gut. It doesn't matter which angle you come from, the health of the gut is incredibly important for regulating your hormones AND your brain.

Diet

What helps your gut health the most but diet?  Anything from inflammation in the gut, to hyper permability (leaky gut), to gut dysbiosis (parasites or bacterial imbalances etc...) can be influenced in a positive or negative way from your diet.

• Foods can cause inflammation or they can calm it. 
• Foods can cause the tight junctions to open up in your gut lining or food can protect and soothe your gut lining.
• Certain foods can regulate hormones
• Food and fiber and regulate hormones, increase gut motility, and eliminate toxins (buildup of which can cause brain and hormone imbalances)

Thankfully, this is one aspect of our lives we have complete control over. When we commit to a pesticide free, chemical free, whole food approach to our diets, we lay the foundation for other changes to be more effective.

Exercise

While exercise is a helpful acute stress for healthy people, if you are in the exhaustive stage of adrenal fatigue (low cortisol, depleted hormones, tired often, inconsistent sleep and diurnal rhythms...) then exercise becomes another stressor that actually DEPLETES your body of the few resources it has left. 

When trying to heal from adrenal fatigue calming exercise like walking and yoga are the best options. As your body heals you can increase the amount of exercise but since chronic exercise and over exercise can damage the gut, that's just another reason to take it easy until you've made lots of headway in the right direction!

Takeaway:

Stress relief, the right nutrition, targeted healing for the gut, and health promoting movement are all steps you can take to reverse your adrenal fatigue, balance your hormones, calm anxiety and get back to your best life! I know because I've been there and this year, 2018, I feel better than ever! I'm not done healing and I have more to work on, but I have seen amazing sleep, more libido, and tons more energy just to name a few improvements! 

Interested in digging deep to find the root cause of your hormone imbalances? Click the link below to schedule a free call to find if working together is right for you!

Do you or have you struggled from adrenal fatigue? I'd love to hear your experience...share in the comments below!