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My Cancer Came back.. or did it?
WHEW! it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a new blog post! More often I’m sharing snippets of my personal life on Instagram stories, or sharing some details in a newsletter, but this recent struggle REALLY knocked me out and for those of you interested in the details, I wanted to share what’s been going on the past week…
I went in for routine scan…
On July 29th, I went in for my regular CT scan. This was a routine, 2 year cancer screening to confirm that was still in remission from Hodgkin lymphoma. This scan was a little different in that it was full body, not just head and neck, so it required both IV contrast as well as oral contrast. (yuck!) I was thankful that they were both iodine based since I knew I react fine to that. (heads up if it’s iodine contrast it just tastes like water, woohoo!)
As you can see from the picture below, the results looked GREAT! I initially had 2 swollen lymph nodes, 1 of which was deemed “active” on diagnosis in 2019. After treatment, both still stuck around, but the right “active” one was no longer active. Each scan has been needed to confirm that it’s not growing.
Every single scan I have had in 2 years showed that it has not only remained stable, it has SHRUNK.
The results looked great!
Based on these initial readings my right lymph was measuring 1.5cm x 1.2 cm which was significantly smaller than the previous measurements of 3.7cm x 1.4cm. GREAT NEWS!!!!
Unfortunately, we noticed a discrepancy. In the summary of findings the radiologist said that one part trunk while the other grew… but wait. This didn’t match the actual measurements!!! So we decided to wait on the doctor but hope we were reading this correctly and that there was nothing to worry about.
I met with my oncologist August 6th. We sat down, and she seemed really happy with the results. The bloodwork that had come in looked good (we were waiting on some of it still) and the scan showed improvement. All is good!
But then we brought up the discrepancy…..she said she would confirm with radiology but she was sure it was just a typo.
And then things got scary...
First, I got a follow up call that the rest of the bloodwork came in and 2 markers were significantly out of range. So we scheduled a retest to confirm a week later.
Then on Tuesday Aug 10th, I got a voicemail from the oncology staff staying, “There WAS an error with your PET. The measurement read 15 (millimeters) but it was supposed to read 50 (millimeters)”.
Just to keep things all clear with the same measurements, this went from thinking it was 1.5cm to telling me it was 5.0 cm. This is a major difference and would mean that instead of shrinking, my tumor GREW and grew significantly.
The voicemail went on to say that I needed a follow up PET to know more. When I started listening I thought, “yes of course there was an error”, and then she continued and time slowed down. My jaw dropped. She’s saying the cancer is back….
I had to go in for a PET
The difference between a CT and a PET is that when you get a PET you get injected with radioactive sugar so that if the cancer is active it gobbles up the sugar and the radioactive materials bonded with the sugar light up on the PET. So a CT will show you lumps and bumps and the PET will tell you if it’s cancerous. I was essentially going into this assuming my tumor had grown, and what other reason could there possibly be except that the cancer was back?!
The problem, is that each scan submits you to radiation, and PETs more so because of the tracer that gets injected in your body. So these scans are not taken lightly, they are meant to be spaced apart, and there are only so many you are supposed to get in a year or a lifetime. As radiation is cumulative, it puts you at risk for secondary cancers…
I went to MyChart to take a look and realized that when my oncologist reached out to radiology, they did make an addendum. The frustrating part was that the addendum was made on Monday morning and the call I received was late Tuesday - leaving me no time to take action but lots of time to fret.
The trauma response began to hit me hard
Tuesday night was filled with many tears as I realized my cancer may be back. It was extremely traumatic as I tried to come to terms with the fact that I had just been told the week before that I was actually 2 years FREE of cancer.
I couldn’t sleep. I managed to sleep for about 2 hours, and then lay away until about 5am at which point I was able to get about 2 more hours of sleep.
Thankfully the PET was scheduled quickly and I was booked for Friday (the 13th no less!). Wednesday and Thursday were filled with research, prayers, worry, friends, hugs, more research, terribly morbid thoughts about how I wanted to approach this and what if I was dying….the PTSD with a recurrence scare is REAL!
I had a wonderful friend, who happens to be a nurse at Kettering, meet me and go in with me to my appointment (since I wasn’t allowed to bring family). SO many people were praying during the 2 hours of the PET that even though I felt really emotional driving to the appointment, I felt calm and peaceful while there.
Some other wonderful friends met me after and we grabbed some food since I had to fast all day for the appointment!
I needed to PLAN
Saturday and Sunday were also filled with research, planning, crying, list making and facing the reality that if my tumor really grew, it most likely meant the cancer was back. So before I got the official news, I wanted to have some thoughts organized so we could take action right away.
Again, I was supported through thoughts, prayers, texts, messages, well wishes and more. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and care.
The results were IN
The weekend came and went, filled with good things like my Dads birthday dinner and a church concert. Sunday night I noticed a message from MyChart. The PET results were in. My heart sank. I was in the car with Patrick and he almost started crying before we even opened it. We were convinced it would be bad news. PET reports are a little more difficult to read than CT (at leas I think so) but one really important marker you look for is the Deauville score. 1-2 is cancer free 5 is active cancer. I saw a 2 on this report. After the week we had had I was too nervous to celebrate before hearing it directly from my oncologist.
Monday morning I received the call from a nurse, “Kylene, the PET results are in and it shows ZERO cancer. You’re good to go! We will continue with our normal monitoring but there is nothing else you need to do”
It was a MIRACLE
I barely knew what to do with myself. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
Over the past week I struggled with my faith. I said not nice things to Jesus (my chiropractor told me “He can handle it”) and indeed He can. What many of you don’t know, and what I cannot fully share with you yet, is that the past 6 months have been trauma filled for me for other reasons. There has been a lot going on behind the scenes that has been extraordinarily difficult to process and work through and I have been in therapy since Feb because of it. So when all of this came up, I deeply felt that I could not handle both things at the same time and I was saying “WHY ME” to God. “Haven’t you given me ENOUGH already?!” for much of 2021 I have been wondering - WHY ME?????
But here is the truth. God WILL give you more than you feel you can handle. He will do that a LOT. And I don’t KNOW why He chose to gift me with all of these painful painful things in my life. But He did. And through the struggles I chose to trust Him regardless of the outcome. And I may NEVER know the purpose but I once again grew through this process. It brought things to the surface that I’m passionate about, that I want to accomplish, etc….
Ultimately, I believe that sometimes these things happen in order for God to get the glory in one way or another. When I shared a brief version of these events on FB the comment section gave me chills because of how many people I saw praising God and thanking Jesus for His love and the outcome.
Concerned about the process, I reached out to my doctor to clarify what happened… she did indeed look at both scans and saw what the radiologist saw.
Was this a miraculous remission?
Was it a fluke?
Was it an error?
All I know is that it’s a MIRACLE. And I’m THANKFUL to be cancer free for 2 years and going strong.
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work
within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”
Toxin Free Skin Care and...why I care about it!
Hey hey Diva friends!!!
Over the past 7 years my health has been a series of small steps in the right direction slowly adding up over time. My first big change was my diet….after that I eventually gave up wall plug ins and most of my plastic containers. I slowly began switching my soaps and household items to become a more toxin free environment….
When I got diagnosed with Hodgkins and began reading up on it I realized that it’s particularly effected by environmental toxins (but to be honest….aren’t all cancers?? HELLO immune disruption!!)
So now more than ever it’s important to me that I make as many positive choices regarding my surroundings as possible. The way I see it, we have ultimate control over 3 things:
What comes into our homes
What goes into our mouths
What goes on on our bodies
Skin care falls within that third category and I thought today I would share with you what brand I’m loving! Skin care and makeup were frontiers I held out on for awhile because let’s face it….it’s TOUGH to find a product that claims to be toxin free that 1) actually IS, and 2) still performs at a high level!!!
Why should we care about toxins and chemicals? Doesn’t the FDA keep us safe?
We care because what goes onto your skin gets into your blood stream within less than a minute. (Think nicotine patches, essential oils, and birth control patches as examples of how potent substances can get inside our bodies this way)…
No the FDA does not keep us safe. Now just to clarifiy, I firmly believe the answer to this is education and personal responsibility, not more government involvement. But to explain the problem, there are only a few chemicals deemed toxic enough by the FDA that companies are not allowed to put them into skincare products… but there are many many more that are allowed to be included that have been shown to disrupt hormones, stress the liver and act as carcingens! This is why I love third party advocates like the environmental working group to help me stay safe, and why I think its more critical than ever to be an informed consumer!
It’s all about toxic load. No-one can ever be perfect. If you want to live your life on the grid so to speak, it will be very difficult to eliminate every toxin ever. And that’s ok. Because our skin, liver, kidneys and lymph systems are designed to process, break down and flush toxins out!!! But it’s all about toxic load. When we live in a world surrounded by smokers, prescription pills, antibiotics, glyphosate sprayed crops, fluoride and chlorine in our water supply, hormone disrupters in our perfumes, wall plug ins and well….you get the pictureControl what we can, so that our body can do its job.
So where I suggest we put our time (besides awareness and education) is in our food supply and what items we choose to bring in our homes or put on our body (skin!)
So I’m really excited to share some of my favorite products with you!!! After using these for at least a year, I can securely tell you that I LOVE Beautycounter skincare. Specifically, I love the countermatch face milk and moisturizer!
Why do I love this particular skincare? Glad you asked!
1) Truly toxin free.
Many products on the shelf have flashy marketing, catchy words like “all natural” and pretty green and white packaging to make you think that they are really toxin free, organic, and safe for you. And I’m not going to lie, I do’t have time to look up every scientific word on the back of a bottle to see if it’s actually from a natural source or if it’s man made. It gets confusing!! So I trust EWG.org to help me check the products that I use and their safety levels. Ideally you want everything to be a 1 (least toxic) but realistically, most things between 1-3 should be ok for regular use!
The Beautycounter Countermach face milk and moisturizer both come in with a stellar rating of 1!!
2) This particular face wash and lotion is very gently and adaptive for most skin types whether you have dry skin or oily. You can read more about that here. It gently removes makeup and leaves your face feeling fresh and soft! The moisturizer smells of almond extract which I absolutely love.
Two other additions I can’t live without:
Beautycounter eye makeup remover: All I have to say is: have you tried Mary Kay eye makeup remover?? I know - it’s UH MAYZING. And I never thought I could get away from it (having tried the less that awesome over the counter brands)…until Beautycounter!
Cleansing face wipes: If you travel these are a MUST!!! I’ve tried to take the eye makeup remover with me and no matter high highly I screw the cap on, it leaks in my suitcase leaving a hard to clean up oil residue (just ask my hubby!). These cleansing cloths not only travel well, but you can really cut them into quarters if you’d like because they are so big!
And there you have it’ my daily, basic, skincare routine
Countermatch adaptive moisturizer
and either: Beautycounter eye makeup remover or Cleansing wipes
You really don’t need much more than that ( in skincare) when you’re drinking lots of water, eating healthy fats, getting sunshine and living a healthy life! Have you tried countermatch? I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
p.s. no company gets everything right 100% of the time, but Beautycounter is on a mission to make their products as safe as possible. I always recommend double checking each product individually to make sure you feel comofrotable using it!
p.p.s. The links in this post are direct links to purchase through me! I use the products so much and believe in their mission, so I signed up myself! I hope you enjoy the products as much as I do.
3 health concerns most women ignore
Hey Hey Diva friends!
Quick update for you :) January is off to a rocking' start!! I launched my very first Gut Health program #GetGutsyWithMe on January 15th and I'm already getting AMAZING feedback on the program, information, and recipes! This fills my heart with joy and happiness since it's my life's mission to help people make healthy changes in a doable, pleasant, and maintainable way!!
Stay tuned - Get Gutsy will be launching 2-3 times each year and you can expect edition #2 in a few months!
SIGN UP FOR MY NEWSLETTER TO STAY UP TO DATE!
I also chose to jump into the 80Day Obsession program by Autumn Calabrese! This is a beachbody program from the creator of 21 day fix. YES I'm a personal trainer, YES I could create my own workouts...YES MLMs like beachbody have a bad name (because of poor representatives I might add - not because of the products).... but I have seen GREAT success using at home programs, so have many of my clients and friends and heck...it saves me time and sanity to follow a program that's already designed! As I grow and focus on my OWN business, I enjoy popping down in my basement and not having to think about what to do next. #stressrelief If you want to join me just say the word!
I'm VERY pleased to announce that The Tiny Fit Diva podcast will be up and available to stream in February. We are currently working on a few last minute tweaks as well as preparing a few extra episodes for you to be on top of the game before we open it to the public :) GET EXCITED because Patrick and I share our best tips on this weekly show!
I have many goals for 2018 and one habit I'm slowly beginning to implement is an organized morning. Last year I read miracle morning and I loved a lot of the ideas but didn't implement them right away. As I'm getting busier, I want to make sure my priorities don't slip, so in the evening I have been making a list of to-dos the next day and that includes the first few things I want to get done in the morning which includes meditation, reading my Bible, and reading a personal development book!
All in all, January is shaping up to be a pretty darn awesome month and I have more goals, dreams, and visions for the next few years that I can't wait to share with you as they come to fruition.....
Today's topic:
3 health concerns most women ignore
1) Poop.
Man, it seems like this is all I'm talking about these days! Between Get Gutsy With Me, my podcast, personal conversations and now this blog....shew! I need t find another topic ;)
A common complaint that many of my clients have is inconsistent stools. Some may be constipated, some have diarrhea, or some fluctuate between the two. If you aren't having regular bowel movements and/or you have stomach pains that accompany inconsistent bowel movements you need to get it checked out! Consider ordering up a comprehensive stool test and/or a food sensitivities test. Often the two compliment each other well.
When you are constipated, your stool is literally putrefying in your body. Yuck! Stool is full of toxins that your body has broken down, processed, and passed through to successfully eliminate and get it out of your system. When it's held in, those toxins are getting reabsorbed which can cause an excessive toxic load on your liver, pain in your abdomen, and even issues with your mental clarity and energy, not to mention the potential damage and inflammation to your colon the longer this goes on!
If you regularly have constipation, diarrhea or a fluctuation between the two it can be an indication of food sensitivities, a bacterial imbalance or even a parasite. Ignoring these can lead to disease, chronic pain, chronic inflammation and even stomach cancer in the case of the H. Pylori an wildly common stomach bacteria. When inflammation and damage goes on too long in the body it can eventually lead to a suppressed immune system compromising your future health as well as your ability to recover.
2) Too much coffee during the day...
I almost titled this point "Fatigue" but when we rely on stimulants all day many people don't realize how tired they actually ARE. Many people will say " oh yes I feel fine, I get through my work day great!" but if you were to take away the caffeine, coffee or sugary beverages throughout the day these same people would crash and burn around 10am and have a tough time mentally and physically recovering to complete the rest of their day.
Limit yourself to 1 cup of (preferably black) coffee a day and keep that before noon. While extra caffeine throughout the day may give us the sensation that we have more energy, it's actually taxing on our body's natural energy production systems and can give us misinformation on how energized we actually are. The longer (later) caffeine is in out system the more it affects are ability to get to and stay asleep. We need to be able to rest when we are fatigued so that we can naturally reset and not rely on stimulants throughout the day.
Additionally, when you wake up your cortisol levels are at their highest for aproximately the first hour of the day. Cortisol (a steroidal hormone) gives you that energy to wake up and roll out of bed. Consider waiting to drink that cup of coffee until 1-2 hours after you wake to really maximize your body's utilization of the cortisol and the caffeine together.
3) Resistant weight loss
Many women thing "I'm just getting older", or "this is my life now" and lose hope when they struggle to lose weight in middle age ( or any age!). I'm here to tell you that weight loss IS possible and your body DOES want you to lose that stubborn belly fat. Weight loss resistance is a SYMPTOM and it's your body's way of telling you that something isn't right. Typically it's related to a stress response.
When your body is stressed whether mentally, physically, or emotionally, it releases cortisol which increases insulin levels and therefore affects your ability to gain or lose weight efficiently. When your body is chronically stressed, in it's desire to survive it stores fat and shuts down non-essential functions such as proper digestion and fertility ability. aka - it messes with your hormones man!
Weight gain or the inability to LOSE stubborn fat is generally a signal to you that there is a hidden stressor somewhere in your life that needs to be removed. This could be anything from an emotionally stressor like a bad relationship, chronic stress like business at work or lack of proper sleep, or physical stressors like over exercising and/or food sensitivities causing inflammation and damage to your gut lining.
All 3 of these are problems that MANY women encounter and therefore many women consider them "normal". These are not normal and by no means are you meant to struggle with them for life. In fact, with some digging there may be a relatively simple answer. It may take time, and it may take work. I never said changes would be EASY, but they may be SIMPLE.
Be your own health advocate, know your body, and don't "let it go" :)
Have you, or are you struggling with one of these? I'd love to hear from you - leave a comment below!
How to make cooking fun
Hey hey Diva friends!!!
I know how daunting it can be to change your lifestyle and try to start cooking WHILE you are still absorbing information, learning new things, and trying to figure out whats what! I wanted to provide a few tips to help you make it more fun along the way.
1) MINDSET
Mindset is key in pretty much every area of our life isn't it? With our diet and lifestyle it's SUPER easy to let our mindset get in the way. We think things like "it's too hard", "It's too expensive", "I can't cook", "I have no time" etc....
There is a whole book you can read about this if you're interested!
Those are all excuses and I want you to drop them at the door! Anything you WANT to do you find the time, money, resources, and ability TO do! Cooking doesn't have to be hard, expensive OR time consuming! You just need the right mindset, the right tools, and the right plan :)
I would encourage you to shift from the difficulty mindset into the ADVENTURE mindset! Cooking is a really fun adventure! You find out new recipes you like, new flavors, new tricks, new tools, new spices etc! Plus when your body starts changing and you feel better, all of a sudden the effort is #worthit.
Along the same lines, be willing to try new things! Invest in a quality spice set that allows you to make multiple flavor combinations, follow new recipes, and not get bored.
Want to purchase some high quality spices from a trusted source? click here!
When you hit the store, make it your goal to stay in the produce section for 95% of your shopping trip and you can't go wrong. Grab a new fruit, a new veggie and research where it comes from and how to cook it!
Hot tip: If you google Paleo__"insert vegetable or recipe here"____ you will find a clean, whole foods, healthy way to cook almost anything!
Don't know what Paleo means? Read my last blog post all about it!
2) ATMOSPHERE
Spice up more than your food! Play some music and get in the MOOD to cook :) Whether you set aside 2 hours on Sunday to meal prep for the entire week or you enjoy 30 minutes every evening after work to get things chopped and in the oven, find your perfect pandora playlist and have some fun! Currently I'm on a French Cafe music kick thanks to our recent vacation. Find what inspires you, puts you in a happy place, and get to it!
Hey get crazy- maybe you'll end up with some fun kitchen karaoke!
If you have someone that will cook WITH you - even better! Kids? Have them participate by measuring things out or reading you the recipe!
3) KEEP IT SIMPLE
DON'T overcomplicate things.....again, we get stuck in this headspace that cooking has to be hard and cooking healthy must be even harder. WRONG! I am a simple kinda gal friends. I never wanted to be a "housewife" and I certainly never thought I would enjoy cooking but I do!
Check out this website for delicious recipes made with only a few ingredients...
I've really learned to love making food at home. I know what the ingredients are, I have control over the quality, AND I get to cook according to my own tastes and shake it up when I feel like it. In fact, over the past few years I've enjoyed eating away from home less and less. Honestly we almost never have the same meals 2 weeks in a row - I'm always looking for new recipes and while we have our favorites we are constantly trying new ideas.
One reason I love paleo recipes so much is because they are (most of the time) EASY! Hey - when you can have an incredible dinner by adding a spice rub to some meat, throwing it in the oven for 30 minutes while you cook some vegetables and maybe adding a tasty side or fruit? BOOM. I'm there.
Dessert? NO PROBLEM - I definitely have a sweet tooth and most paleo baking recipes go something like this: 1) mix the dry ingredients 2) mix the wet ingredients 3) throw it in the oven. In other words, paleo is basically Kylene proof. So if I can do it- you can DEFINITELY do it!
Admittedly some baking ingredients (almond flour, coconut flour etc....) can add up so if budgeting is important you might want to limit the desserts to 1 a week or less. Easier on your budget AND waistline!
Hot tip #2: Make a batch of brownies and freeze them! Your investment will save you from those late night cookie binges and satisfy any sweet craving when it hits.
Chick Pea Brownies (super inexpensive!)
Ok I've talked about how simple it is - SHOW ME THE RECIPES right? :) Resources are your friend when starting out. Having some foolproof bloggers that you know you can trust is the best! When my family started this process Elana Amsterdam saved us. She is beyond skilled in giving you the best tasting recipes with the fewest ingredients possible. Talk about simple! She also divides her website up by special dietary needs, so whether you are egg free, nut free etc....she has recipes for you clearly listed. Check out her website HERE!
Hope this has helped. Bye for now!
Top reasons people fail at achieving their health goals (part 2)
Yesterday we learned that one of the top struggles people deal with is TIME....
Today I want to talk about having a PLAN. To be successful, it's very important to have a plan both for fitness AND nutrition. Those two things are intimately connected and while nutrition can sometimes stand alone, fitness should never be separated from nutrition!
When it comes to time spent at the gym, most people simply don't know what to do. I know for a long time I didn't either! You may go the gym with every good intention, excitement even! The you look around, feel very overwhelmed, and possibly embarrassed, because you aren't sure how to use the equipment or even know what muscles to focus on, what weights to use, or how many reps to do to be effective....so you may try some free weight exercises that you learned in high school just to get it in, or you hop on the cardio machines and sweat away for hours at a time.....but still you are constantly frustrated because you aren't seeing the results you want!
This is nothing to be ashamed about, but it IS something that can change. The number 1 thing I would encourage you to do is learn about free weights and begin to lessen your cardio efforts. If you learn how to do circuit training with free weights you will be killing two birds (or 3) with one stone as you:
- increase your bone density, balance, coordination (benefits of weight training)
- AND improve your cardiovascular abilities (benefits of circuit training)
- Cut your workout time in half!
Most gyms have trainers available and if you choose to workout at a gym I would encourage you to use one! Proper form, timing, and a planned program are important to your success and injury prevention.
Or, you have another option. Allow me help you find your perfect at home workout program! With clear, guided instructions, access to me for any questions you have and a pre-planned results driven program all laid out, I know you will reach your goals faster than before! You may wonder why as a certified personal trainer I still do at home Beachbody workouts myself....#1 because they are effective -plain and simple! But #2, they save me TIME and PLANNING! I don't want to sit down and create my OWN program, that's like a doctor coming up with their own protocol. Possible, but no fun. I know that I see results from these programs and all I have to do is push play and show up! That works for me, and I know it can work for you too! :)
Similarly, like we mentioned yesterday, consistency is key in nutrition...and I believe that nutrition is 90% of achieving your overall health goals as well as a goal number on the scale. That 90% cannot be achieved without a plan!
I know firsthand how difficult transitioning to a healthy diet can be! It's takes TIME, it takes PLANNING, it takes RESEARCH it takes commitment....who has energy for THAT when you are trying to get everything else done?!
That's why I focus a lot on nutrition in my monthly challenge groups. I have spent the past 5 years gathering information for myself, implementing it, trying different things, and finding out what WORKS. In the past year I have worked with my challengers and even individual clients to help them reach their goals and learn how to make healthy living a lifestyle! In my challenge groups I share:
- how I eat and why
- how I broke free from the yo-yo diet mentality
- how I can eat whatever I want whenever I want because I now know what ingredients to use.
- how to get relief from a restrictive mindset, enjoy your food, and make it work FOR you not against you!
I do all of this to save you the time, energy, and effort that it took me! I provide meal plans, tips, encouragement and recipes to make it easy for you. You will be provided with all the tools and resources you need to be successful longterm!
So who is ready to come up with a PLAN?! I have a new challenge group opening March 6th ( that's THIS MONDAY!) You can message me for details, ask for a video chat consultation, or just let me know you're ready to jump in and we can GET STARTED TODAY!
