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10 things not to do or say to a person with cancer
Hey hey Diva friends!
In my last post, I shared 22 ways to support a cancer patient and today I’m going to share….what NOT to do! Many of these are things that people will offer or say from a sincere and kind place in their heart…but please…..just don’t.
Read the list below and say something like this instead! ;)
Click the picture to buy this or other cancer empathy cards!
Things not to say (or do)
“Your hair will grow back!” - we know. That doesn’t make it less traumatizing!
“This is all happening for a reason” - Again, we know. But maybe we don’t. And until we KNOW the reason or can glean some life lessons from it…this comment hurts.
“You’re so lucky! This one is treatable!” - Just because Hodgkin’s is a “curable” cancer doesn’t mean the treatment is less toxic, less painful or less difficult.
Don’t offer them an MLM product or magic solution that only you must know about. (caveat here: there are some valid alternative therapies and nutritional supplements and approaches that can significantly help a cancer patient. But please don’t reach out to a stranger offering them an MLM product that they purchase from you. Close friends and family are the only ones that this is an appropriate offering from and even then there is an appropriate way to offer it.)
Don’t hook them up with your friend so-and-so who had the same kind of cancer. Unless you’ve already asked if that is something they would appreciate. (Everyone wants to help and they may already have connected with 5 other people!)
Don’t say this will bring them closer in their walk with God, or that cancer is a learning opportunity. It will, and it. an be, but depending on where they are emotionally this can come across as very insensitive.
Don’t ask them why they chose the treatment they did.
“You don’t look sick” - gee thanks. I look amazing while I feel like poop!
“This is just part of your journey” - not helpful.
Don’t share a 10 minute story about your cousin who had the same cancer and they are just great now! We know you want to be encouraging, but when we are in the middle of processing a diagnosis and thinking about what to do, how to stay healthy, and what the next few months will look like…hearing random stories of people we have never met who may have had a different staging, be a different age, or sex, or even a completely different cancer….can be frustrating. I’ll be honest - our brains shut down for the first few months simply because we are in shock!
And there you have it! 10 things that would be really easy to say in the NICEST of ways but….don’t really sound good to someone facing the scariest part of their life so far!! Everyone’s journey is different, and sometimes encouraging stories can be encouraging…but they can also be really annoying because the person you are telling this to, knows that their story is unique and they DON’T know the outcome yet.
Try to back off of advice and just let them know it’s ok to feel however they feel. Scared, angry, sad, nervous….and you are there for them no matter what! They will really appreciate you all the more :)
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“Healthy Through Hodgkins” where I share integrative approached, detox tips, immune boosting ideas and more!
5 Budget Friendly ways to support your body during cancer treatment
Hey there!!
I recently shared an article on what supplements I used during chemotherapy , and how much we spent out of pocket to take an integrative approach to my cancer treatment.
I KNOW that integrative care can be expensive. It is not covered by insurance, specialists are paid per visit, and fancy treatments like vitamin IVs are all out of pocket. While there’s no way to integrate your care COMPLETELY free, there are ways you can get resources and information that you can incorporate yourself for an affordable rate.
I will just state a caveat/personal opinion here: If at ALL POSSIBLE I would highly recommend hiring a specialist. During chemo you are tired, easily get demotivated, and experience brain fog or “chemo brain”.
While you may be 100% capable of doing your own research, finding what works and implementing yourself when healthy, you will, at minimum, need a support system to encourage you, cook for you the way you want, and help you accomplish any therapies you’d like to utilize through this process.
That being said, here are lots of resources for you!
5 Budget Friendly Ways to Support
Your Body During Cancer Treatment
1) Books
There are SO MANY books that you can read about integrative care, nutrition, supplementation, how cancer works, how you can support your body during and after chemo etc…. Here are a few that I have found to be really wonderful resources:
Beating Cancer with Nutrition
I found this book to be not only incredibly encouraging, but also packed with information! I particularly appreciated the authors approach to integrative care. His point is that sometimes it IS necessary to address the toxic load through conventional treatment (getting rid of tumors, going through chemotherapy etc) but that it is not only MORE effective to use nutrition to support your body, but done right, nutrition and supplementation can also help you to avoid unnecessary side effects by protecting your organs, cells, energy etc….
In this book, Patrick Quillin discusses what causes cancer, foods that fight cancer and so much more. You will learn so much about your body, the environment, toxicity and more! In addition you’ll receive specific supplement and dosage recommendations, a letter for your oncologist, and lots of recipes in the back.
The Cancer Fighting Kitchen Cookbook
You may or may not use all the recipes in this book, but U found it incredibly helpful to skim before beginning treatment. Rebecca Katz talked about things I wouldn’t have known to think about including how to eat before, during and after an infusion. Regardless of whether you use these recipes, during your treatment, it’s a fantastic resource and it’s filled with super delicious recipes!
Emotional Detox
Many believe that cancers develop because of “stuck” emotions or unhealed traumas. Whether you believe that or not, this healing journey will be deeper and more long lasting if you dive into emotional and spiritual healing avenues throughout this process. I would encourage you to do a lot of research on this topic, ask for prayer from your church, and become open to what God may share with you during this time!
While this isn’t a book I read during my own treatment phase, I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this book and the author. If you want to learn more about your body and the development of cancer ( and what you can do to prevent recurrence in the future) then this is an amazing resource!
Radical Remission
This time of your life is HARD. Regardless of where you are, it’s crucial to fill your mind with positive thoughts, hopeful images, and pans for the future. Reading inspirational stories of people who have gone into remission and what tools were shared between them can be really encouraging!
Green Smoothie Diet
Whether you are prepping your body BEFORE chemo, approaching treatment through natural methods only, or recovering from conventional treatment, greens, juices, and smoothies are a fast way to get dense nutrition into your cells! Robyn Openshaw has not only experienced health problems herself, but has been hit with cancer several times in her immediate family and she has traveled the world visiting cancer treatment facilities.
2) Podcasts
There are SO MANY doctors, naturopaths and healers that use this platform to educate the public. This extends their reach far beyond what they would be able to accomplish by just seeing their patients 1:1 in the office setting. Below are some specific podcast episodes you may enjoy - if you enjoy the episode, consider listing to other episodes from the same host!
Dr. Mercola and Dr. Nasha Winters “Natural Cancer Remedies” - this episode provides valuable information on testing, integrative care and more….
Ben Greenfield Podcast “How to cure Yourself of Cancer “ with Eric Remensperger - listen to one man’s story of healing! And scroll down to the bottom of the show notes for several other episode on cancer!
The Stern Method Podcast “Natural Healing Success” with Robyn Openshaw - Robyn shares her own health stories, her families experience with cancer, and her experiences visiting cancer treatment facilities around the world.
3) Online Holistic or Integrative Care
Websites, Blogs and Therapies
4) Nutrition
Do I REALLY need to add this one? Yes. Because most doctors will not give you any information on what to eat before, during, or after cancer treatment! Before and after treatment (when your immune system is functioning) fresh fruits and vegetables are the way to go! (But no, I’m not telling you to go without protein - it’s crucial for detox!)
I actually don’t promote extreme diets like Keto or juice fasting, but there may be situations, cancers, and stages where this may be appropriate. Work with a professional in this area if you want to do anything extreme so that you can monitor you blood work and results regularly.
General principles apply to anyone with any cancer, at any stage of treatment however and those are the same overarching principles that cover the rest of the world as well. Eat real food.
Many docs are so worried about you losing weight that they will encourage you to “eat anything” to maintain your weight including ice cream or mcdonalds. Because that helps your immune system function well, your cells repair, and your energy bounce back…RIGHT?! While nutrient IVs may be needed in emergency situations, maintaining a nutrient dense diet throughout and making sure you are getting healthy foods and protecting your gut, can only HELP you maintain your protein levels and weight.
There isn’t a whole lot you can do to save your immune system during chemo. It’s gonna take a hit, period. But you CAN support your body by eating anti-inflammatory foods. The same kind of diet that is beneficial for everyone. Not extreme, but filled with whole foods.
Eat fresh fruits and veggies until your white blood cell counts get low and then switch to cooked and steamed but don’t stop eating vegetables! Fill the rest of your day with healthy fats, high quality proteins and nutrient dense meals to support your muscle maintenance, brain health, cell health, and energy levels.
p.s. I personally had weird cravings around chemo treatments in addition to major food aversions. Listen to your body! I gave myself a 72 hour grace period where I would be much more lax about balancing my meals and go with what felt or tasted good (within certain guidelines). But then I would do my best to get back to a balanced diet!
“Chemo, radiation and surgery will reduce tumor burden but do nothing to change the underlying conditions that allows this abnormal growth to thrive”
- Patrick Quillin “Beating Cancer with Nutrition”
Don’t underestimate the power of food to change your cellular environment! Nutrition, mindset, and spiritual healing are all steps you can take to not only support yourself DURING treatment, but prepare your body to be as strong as possible BEFORE treatment and remain in remission AFTER treatment.
5) Supplements
I’ve already shared what supplements I personally used, but I would always recommend you work with someone specializing in integrative care! WHY? Because if your symptoms change or a side effect begins to develop, you can always change course under their supervision.
Every coach needs a coach, every athlete needs a trainer, so even if you feel really educated on supplements, this is a stressful time where you will feel fatigued and not quite yourself. Utilize as many support resources as you can! Supplements are one of the more affordable therapies available!
There are some supplements that protect you during chemotherapy, some supplements that specifically attack tumors, and some that boost your immune system and support your mitochondria and cell health! You’ll want to incorporate different ones at different times throughout your healing journey.
Once you are in remission I would recommend at minimum doing a food sensitivity test to lower inflammation and see which foods you have developed sensitivities to after the enormous amount of emotional and physical stress you just went through. I would encourage you to re-test 3 months later, and then 6 months after that as your body continues to heal.
Want more support? Join my free Healthy Through Hodgkins community where I share integrative approaches to healing, nutritional tips, detox information and more!
p.s. nothing in this blog is meant to take the place of medical advice. Please share changes you make with your oncologist, and hire specialists to advise you in any medical concerns. This is not a medical website and I am not a doctor.
Supplements I used during chemo
Hello friends!
Many of you have been interested in my use of an integrative approach to treatment during my 3 months of chemotherapy. I chose to follow the conventional method for 3 main reasons:
I wanted to stay home close to my family alternative care centers are based throughout the country and the world but would require me to live there for periods of time)
My specific cancer has an extremely high success rate when treated with chemo. This is not the case for all cancers. Even my holistic minded, naturopathic and functional medicine friends pointed me in this direction for this case.
I had already done SO much with supplementation and lifestyle, my goal was to eliminate the burden of the tumor in my body so that I could continue with my healthy lifestyle allowing it to remain in remission.
That being said, I took a very integrative approach to treatment and we spent over $20K out of pocket to incorporate things like a detox specialist (using after treatment) an emotional code therapist (to dig deeper to any emotional blocks or issues I needed to release that may be hindering my healing, hiring an integrative oncologist/naturopath to guide me through supplementation to counteract any side effects from the chemo and protect my body through the process keeping it as strong as possible, and Vitamin C IVs on the off weeks to help me recover, but also to act as an assist to the chemo itself.
That’s a pretty hefty price tag but one we were willing to pay. Choosing conventional treatment was something Patrick and I both had peace about, but living with long term side effects like heart damage, lung problems, or peripheral neuropathy was NOT something I wanted to deal with later. In my view, choosing to pay quite a bit up front to support my body through this journey is in replacement of paying for long term medical care the rest of my life.
One of the most effective and affordable portions of my investment were the supplements and many have asked what used! I wanted to share them below but first I must say that I don’t recommend just reading a book and incorporating supplements, or guessing at what your body needs. I know quite a bit about supplementation and my body but I hired a specialist to guide me through the process and the tweaks and adjustment she helped me make were invaluable the past 3 months. If you would like to hire the same woman I used you can visit her website at www.drheatherpaulson.com
So let’s get to it! Below are al the supplements I was taking by the end of my treatment and that I will remain taking for the next few months.
Most were recommended by my naturopath, some were from personal preference, some were added as we went along and some I was horrible at taking.
Acetyl L Carnitine - For protecting my heart, lungs, kidneys and possibly helping fatigue
L- glutamine - to maintain muscle mass, heal my gut and epithelial lining, prevent mouth sores, and protect against neuropathy
Vitamin E - immune system support
Vitamin D - immune system support
CoQ10 - protect the heart and mitochondrial support
Beef liver - provides B vitamins, Fit A, selenium, and I always feel better on it. In fact, I didn’t take this the first part of my treatments and I’m fairly certain my hair stopped falling out in conjunction with when I brought it back in to my daily regimen
Marrow plus - added in once my WBC began dropping after treatments.
Amy Myers Multivitamin - this was just a multi I really love and was already taking - I ran out and didn’t refill it towards the end just because I was taking so many other things
Vitamin C - immune system support
Complete B-Complex - B vitamins are very helpful with energy and preventing neuropathy. Always look for a high quality b complex that uses folate or L methyfolate and not folic acid
Alphs Lipoic Acid - protects against neuropathy
B-6 (pyridoxal 5 phosphate) - assist with nausea
Biocidin - this is an herbal antibiotic and I didn’t take this at first, but after getting an infection, spending an night in the hospital, and having to be on a ROUGH and strong antibiotic for 10 days, I immediately added this back in when that was over and never had any more problems. It’s the safest, most gentle and still most effecti antibiotic alternative I know of.
Fish oil - for inflammation and cell health. I was horrible at takin this but intend to be much more religious about it during recovery
Curcumin - anti-inflammatory - again I was horrible with taking this just on top of everything else!
And there you have it! This ended up being a VERY large handful of supplements at breakfast with a few second doses later in the day when I could remember and or make my self do it. It was quite a bit. But I will say, I think it helped me tremendously :)
Want more encouragement, tips, and information on integrative care? Join my free community
Healthy Through Hodgkins!
God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.
We hear this phrase often, but do we really believe it? Over the past 7 months, it would be easy for me to become depressed, discouraged, angry, frustrated and so much more. I mean, who dedicates their life to getting healthy and helping others stay healthy and then gets cancer? Doesn’t seem fair does it…
But because of my faith, I knew from the start that:
There was a plan
Whether I enjoyed the process or not, there was a purpose and
I would come out strong in the end andlearn some yet unknown lessons that needed to be learned
And sure enough, here I am, at the end of this journey (and the beginning of a new one) having fulfilled each of those things.
Plan
Not surprisingly, from day 1, I saw that God had been planning this journey for several years.
I discovered my tumor had been there for 2 years
I discovered later that cancer develops (like autoimmune diseases, another form of immune system dysregulation) over 7-10 years
I knew that had I not gotten sick in 2015, I wouldn’t have become an FDN
Had I not become and FDN, I wouldn’t have gotten to deep into healing, and already put in several years of work
Had I not put in the work, this journey may have been much more difficult for me
Had I not become an FDN and really invested in myself and my business I wouldn’t have gone to Mindshare (a networking summit with some of the top functional medicine docs around the country)
Had I not gone to Mindshare, I wouldn’t have had access to any of the experts I used to guide me through this process (detox expert, emotional healing expert, integrative naturopath specializing in cancer)
Had I not had access to these people I may have experiences loads more symptoms and not recovered as quickly in between treatments. I am walking away with no long term effects on my heart, lungs, or nerves and during the process I never experienced severe constipation, or pain of any kind. The most regular symptoms for me were fatigue, nausea and some acid reflux/discomfort from the epithelial lining being so raw from this process. I didn’t even lose all my hair ( I really think it stopped when I started taking beef liver again!) I had some many people praying for me across the country - I know that God protected me in many ways throughout this process.
So…..You see…..from the beginning I knew there was a plan. God knew that this was part of my journey and he set me up to navigate it as successfully as I possibly could. He blinded my eyes to the tumor ( which I could see in pictures stating 2 years prior) until it was the right time and I knew the right people.
But for whatever reason….this was still something He wanted me to experience.
Purpose
I knew there was some purpose to this. Maybe it was to solidify my stance that there is benefit to both conventional and natural medicines….maybe it was to strengthen my faith….maybe it was to help me empathize with clients and understand the body better….
Whatever the reason, I knew there was a purpose. And while I have learned MANY lessons, and had many A HA! moments, I may learn the ultimate purpose much later….or never at all….
Discovery
The first 3 months were the hardest. My body was shocked with this new treatment, I didn’t know what to expect, and anytime my white blood cells tanked it scared me. Everything was so new. The second treatment was the hardest as I ended up with an infection and an overnight hospital stay. This effectively eliminated my recovery period between treatments and so I wasn’t as strong going into the 3rd. But then around this time, I decided I really needed to continue living my life. I couldn’t just STOP living and so as I felt well, I did things that made me happy like singing and being around people again.
And throughout this last half of treatment I had revelation upon revelation about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of life I want to live, how I want to relate to other people and even how I want to run my business.
This isn’t to diminish the pain, fear, and uncertainty of this process. It’s not fun, and treatment weekends are the worst. Over the next 3 days I’ll spend most of my time in bed, popping nausea pills, sleeping, and forcing myself to drink water that to me tastes disgusting just to avoid dehydration which makes EVERYTHING worse.
But I simply don’t know how I would have navigated this without my faith. Without knowing that God had a plan, I wouldn’t have been looking for it. Without assuming there was a purpose, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mentality positive and hopeful. Without knowing that there were lessons to be learned, I wouldn’t have be open to receiving all the downloads I was being divinely sent.
This was something I was meant to go through. I’m thankful that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I praise God for knowing what I needed, and I can’t wait to implement my new life goals. Some of the best things in life come from the most painful experiences. I hope I never have to go through this again, but the battle was worth the win.
10 ways to combat nausea during chemotherapy
Hey Hey Diva friends!!
Between chemo, antibiotics, and changes in my diet this process has been a nightmare for someone always focused on gut health and supporting my microbiome!!!
BUT I chose this path and know that it’s only temporary. I also know that I have all the tools to build my gut back up once I get through this….so meanwhile, I’m left with managing symptoms and by far, the biggest struggle for me has been nausea. Between myself, my doctor and my naturopath, I’ve discovered some tips that may help YOU or someone you love when experiencing this. Feel free to share it with a friend!
Something to understand about nausea is that everyone’s body, treatment and personal experience is different and some nausea is stronger than others. You may or may not actually feel like throwing up, you might just feel “off”. So this list ranges from homeopathic to prescription remedies, and from things to smell to things to ingest. Where I would normally advocate getting to the root cause of nausea so you don’t have to live on a prescription, when undergoing chemotherapy the treatment itself may BE the cause, and it’s certainly not something to mess around with.
In Chinese medicine they talk about yin and yang, hot and cold and that’s another great way of thinking about this as well. Some days you may have excess heat and so a “cold” remedy like peppermint may help but other days you may have excess cold and a “hot” remedy like ginger may sound better to you.
Listen to your body and when reading this list, some things may sound more appealing than others. Go with your gut!
Ginger Zevia. This is basically chemical and sugar free ginger ale! When you’re drinking something to combat nausea you want to make sure you’re not also drinking a bajillion calories, or other harmful chemicals that stress your body. This is a great option for mild to medium level nausea, but I would be careful if you have a lot of digestive complaints, acid reflux, or stomach pains as well because carbonation can be irritating in those cases. You can usually find this at your local grocery store and if they don’t carry it your local heath foods store.
Ginger Tea. This would be a warm, non-carbonated way to get some tummy settling ginger and an easy way to get some beneficial honey in as well! To me, warm drinks did NOT sound appealing, but if it sounds good to you this is a great option.
Peppermint Tea. Peppermint, along with ginger, has been used for centuries to combat nausea! Lesser known than ginger it can be just as effective.
Peppermint essential oil. I personally really liked this option. You can take a whiff of the bottle and keep it with you, use a diffuser in your room, or carry a hand diffuser with you like this one.
Peppermint gum or hard candies.
Preggie Pops. I haven’t personally tried these, but I heard that they are really helpful. My naturopath explained that nausea induced by chemotherapy hits the same parts of our brain as pregnancy nausea. These pops include helpful essential oils and if you are also experiencing funny tastes in your mouth from the treatment this may be a helpful option to distract your brain.
Gluten Free toast. I can never recommend regular bread ( do you even know me?!) but sometimes toast really does seem to help. I personally like the brand Eban’s Bakehouse and would add some grass-fed butter and honey on top! I liked using this honey for the added benefits of the bee pollen, propolis, and royal jelly!
Prescription nausea meds. To me, these are something to use as needed. By that I mean, I am more likely to use these the first 48 hours after chemo and when nausea is persistent or stronger. These come with their own side effects like constipation, headaches or fatigue, so I like to minimize my usage and incorporate as many other options as I can when they work.
Medical cannabis. No, I am not advocating that you go buy a joint off the street. It's critical to do this legally and keep your doctor informed! Some people find that this is by far the most effective nausea remedy they can use. I did find that it helps, but I also don’t love it. There are ways to vape it or get a tincture and since vaping really feels like smoking and well…YUCK, I prefer to use the tincture. Vaping can hit your system a bit faster, but the tincture works pretty quickly as well and has the added benefit of being able to titrate up 1 drop at a time until you find what dose works well for you.
Increase your protein. I know it can be hard the days immediately surrounding treatment because if you’re anything like me, my diet is anything but normal during that time (hello homemade jello, dairy free ice cream pops and gluten free toast 10x a day!). But as soon as you are able to get back to “regular” foods and meals, try to increase your protein. If eating a steak doesn’t sound good to you, simply adding a scoop of protein to your daily protein shake can be helpful too.
Overall, listen to your body!! It knows what it needs and does a pretty good job of communicating. So if you are craving a certain kind of food, go with it! At least during the really tough days. You can use the rest of the days to fill your meals up with nourishing fruits, veggies and gut healing foods!
I hope this was helpful - do you know someone struggling with their chemo treatment?
Feel free to share this post! Know of additional remedies? Please drop them below!
22 ways you can support a cancer patient today
Hey hey Diva friends!!
Today I’m sharing 20 ways you can support a cancer patient today! I have been SOOOOOOO surrounded by love and support and kindness the past few months and some of the things people have done have really surprised me and been totally awesome! I wanted to share in case you know of anyone that could benefit too!
Send a cancer empathy card. For the friend who enjoys laughter, sarcasm, and reality
Set up a meal train. Be sure to ask them what dates would be most helpful and what foods they don’t like or have sensitivities to. You can use a service like takethemameal.com to make it easy to share it with friends, family and church groups that might be willing to fill it up!
Pray for them
Send them a Whole Foods gift card!
Send them an encouraging note. I just received a package from my sister and brother in law’s church with 10 cards - 1 to open for 10 days - each with encouraging notes!
Gift them a hand held oil diffuser for hospital visits or at home nausea
Mix an anti-nausea oils or an oil blend to sniff at the hospital or use at home
Send a project chemo blanket from www.projectchemocrochet.com
Send some fresh flowers or succulents to brighten their home
Text them ,“How are you feeling today?”
Gift them a notebook with encouraging comments and verses like this one to write down their experiences and keep track of doctors, visits and symptoms.
Mail them a book you think they may enjoy
Recommend some great Netflix shows/movies
Let them know you’re there if they need anything
Leave an encouraging voicemail or text
Send them a Visa or grocery gift card
Ask if they would like to go on walks with you
Ask about their treatment schedule and be proactive about scheduling activities or get togethers on days they think they will feel their best so they have things to look forward to
Sit with them during their chemo infusions
Pre-pay for a massage or meal delivery (if they would like that).
Send them an encouraging bookmark
Create a gift basket of fun things appropriate to their experience, likes, and needs!
And there you have it! 22 ways you can support a cancer patient today. Every single one of these (except for Netflix - I was all over that myself haha) were kind things that people did for me! I was blown away how much people cared, and how every single thing on this list meant a great deal whether it was a free gift or a costly one, and whether it was from someone I knew or a total stranger.
Have you been through chemotherapy or know someone who has? What other ideas could you add to this list? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below!
