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My Cancer Came back.. or did it?
WHEW! it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written a new blog post! More often I’m sharing snippets of my personal life on Instagram stories, or sharing some details in a newsletter, but this recent struggle REALLY knocked me out and for those of you interested in the details, I wanted to share what’s been going on the past week…
I went in for routine scan…
On July 29th, I went in for my regular CT scan. This was a routine, 2 year cancer screening to confirm that was still in remission from Hodgkin lymphoma. This scan was a little different in that it was full body, not just head and neck, so it required both IV contrast as well as oral contrast. (yuck!) I was thankful that they were both iodine based since I knew I react fine to that. (heads up if it’s iodine contrast it just tastes like water, woohoo!)
As you can see from the picture below, the results looked GREAT! I initially had 2 swollen lymph nodes, 1 of which was deemed “active” on diagnosis in 2019. After treatment, both still stuck around, but the right “active” one was no longer active. Each scan has been needed to confirm that it’s not growing.
Every single scan I have had in 2 years showed that it has not only remained stable, it has SHRUNK.
The results looked great!
Based on these initial readings my right lymph was measuring 1.5cm x 1.2 cm which was significantly smaller than the previous measurements of 3.7cm x 1.4cm. GREAT NEWS!!!!
Unfortunately, we noticed a discrepancy. In the summary of findings the radiologist said that one part trunk while the other grew… but wait. This didn’t match the actual measurements!!! So we decided to wait on the doctor but hope we were reading this correctly and that there was nothing to worry about.
I met with my oncologist August 6th. We sat down, and she seemed really happy with the results. The bloodwork that had come in looked good (we were waiting on some of it still) and the scan showed improvement. All is good!
But then we brought up the discrepancy…..she said she would confirm with radiology but she was sure it was just a typo.
And then things got scary...
First, I got a follow up call that the rest of the bloodwork came in and 2 markers were significantly out of range. So we scheduled a retest to confirm a week later.
Then on Tuesday Aug 10th, I got a voicemail from the oncology staff staying, “There WAS an error with your PET. The measurement read 15 (millimeters) but it was supposed to read 50 (millimeters)”.
Just to keep things all clear with the same measurements, this went from thinking it was 1.5cm to telling me it was 5.0 cm. This is a major difference and would mean that instead of shrinking, my tumor GREW and grew significantly.
The voicemail went on to say that I needed a follow up PET to know more. When I started listening I thought, “yes of course there was an error”, and then she continued and time slowed down. My jaw dropped. She’s saying the cancer is back….
I had to go in for a PET
The difference between a CT and a PET is that when you get a PET you get injected with radioactive sugar so that if the cancer is active it gobbles up the sugar and the radioactive materials bonded with the sugar light up on the PET. So a CT will show you lumps and bumps and the PET will tell you if it’s cancerous. I was essentially going into this assuming my tumor had grown, and what other reason could there possibly be except that the cancer was back?!
The problem, is that each scan submits you to radiation, and PETs more so because of the tracer that gets injected in your body. So these scans are not taken lightly, they are meant to be spaced apart, and there are only so many you are supposed to get in a year or a lifetime. As radiation is cumulative, it puts you at risk for secondary cancers…
I went to MyChart to take a look and realized that when my oncologist reached out to radiology, they did make an addendum. The frustrating part was that the addendum was made on Monday morning and the call I received was late Tuesday - leaving me no time to take action but lots of time to fret.
The trauma response began to hit me hard
Tuesday night was filled with many tears as I realized my cancer may be back. It was extremely traumatic as I tried to come to terms with the fact that I had just been told the week before that I was actually 2 years FREE of cancer.
I couldn’t sleep. I managed to sleep for about 2 hours, and then lay away until about 5am at which point I was able to get about 2 more hours of sleep.
Thankfully the PET was scheduled quickly and I was booked for Friday (the 13th no less!). Wednesday and Thursday were filled with research, prayers, worry, friends, hugs, more research, terribly morbid thoughts about how I wanted to approach this and what if I was dying….the PTSD with a recurrence scare is REAL!
I had a wonderful friend, who happens to be a nurse at Kettering, meet me and go in with me to my appointment (since I wasn’t allowed to bring family). SO many people were praying during the 2 hours of the PET that even though I felt really emotional driving to the appointment, I felt calm and peaceful while there.
Some other wonderful friends met me after and we grabbed some food since I had to fast all day for the appointment!
I needed to PLAN
Saturday and Sunday were also filled with research, planning, crying, list making and facing the reality that if my tumor really grew, it most likely meant the cancer was back. So before I got the official news, I wanted to have some thoughts organized so we could take action right away.
Again, I was supported through thoughts, prayers, texts, messages, well wishes and more. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and care.
The results were IN
The weekend came and went, filled with good things like my Dads birthday dinner and a church concert. Sunday night I noticed a message from MyChart. The PET results were in. My heart sank. I was in the car with Patrick and he almost started crying before we even opened it. We were convinced it would be bad news. PET reports are a little more difficult to read than CT (at leas I think so) but one really important marker you look for is the Deauville score. 1-2 is cancer free 5 is active cancer. I saw a 2 on this report. After the week we had had I was too nervous to celebrate before hearing it directly from my oncologist.
Monday morning I received the call from a nurse, “Kylene, the PET results are in and it shows ZERO cancer. You’re good to go! We will continue with our normal monitoring but there is nothing else you need to do”
It was a MIRACLE
I barely knew what to do with myself. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
Over the past week I struggled with my faith. I said not nice things to Jesus (my chiropractor told me “He can handle it”) and indeed He can. What many of you don’t know, and what I cannot fully share with you yet, is that the past 6 months have been trauma filled for me for other reasons. There has been a lot going on behind the scenes that has been extraordinarily difficult to process and work through and I have been in therapy since Feb because of it. So when all of this came up, I deeply felt that I could not handle both things at the same time and I was saying “WHY ME” to God. “Haven’t you given me ENOUGH already?!” for much of 2021 I have been wondering - WHY ME?????
But here is the truth. God WILL give you more than you feel you can handle. He will do that a LOT. And I don’t KNOW why He chose to gift me with all of these painful painful things in my life. But He did. And through the struggles I chose to trust Him regardless of the outcome. And I may NEVER know the purpose but I once again grew through this process. It brought things to the surface that I’m passionate about, that I want to accomplish, etc….
Ultimately, I believe that sometimes these things happen in order for God to get the glory in one way or another. When I shared a brief version of these events on FB the comment section gave me chills because of how many people I saw praising God and thanking Jesus for His love and the outcome.
Concerned about the process, I reached out to my doctor to clarify what happened… she did indeed look at both scans and saw what the radiologist saw.
Was this a miraculous remission?
Was it a fluke?
Was it an error?
All I know is that it’s a MIRACLE. And I’m THANKFUL to be cancer free for 2 years and going strong.
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work
within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”
10 Netflix series to watch when you're laid up
During treatment, I spent hours, days even, laying in bed watching Netflix since I didn’t have the energy or strength to do much more surrounding the treatment dates. The pattern usually looked like me getting treatment on a Friday, and staying in bed on and off through Sunday -getting up for walks, for etc….
That meant I watched a LOT of Netflix!! So I thought a succinct little recommendation review might be helpful if YOU are laid up too :) Below are some of my favorite shows (some I watched during and others I just love), a short description, and of course…how many seasons you can count on!
Cheers
Follow the life of Sam Malone - a bar tender and womanizer, as he goes through life and love. Funny, and relatable, you’ll feel like you know all the “regulars”. There are a 11 seasons.
Frasier
Frasier was a regular character on cheers so I obviously had to start this series a well. Turns, out, this series is even better. Frasier is a goofy psychiatrist who blunders his way through romantic relationships, lives with his Dad and his Dad’s physical therapist, and has humorous conversations with his brother Niles, another psychiatrist. There are 11 seasons.
Jane the virgin
Jane is a virgin who get artificially inseminated by accident! This starts her life on a path she never would have chosen, but would also never change. Get to know her family in this comedy-drama! There are 5 seasons.
Royal Pains
Follow a concierge doctor and his brother through the hamptons as the treat the wealthy. There are 8 seasons.
Friends
Believe it or not, it was only in the past 2 years or so that I finally watched this series!!! Follow a group of friends as they navigate living, working and dating in NYC. There are 10 seasons.
The Good Witch
Very Hallmark-esque :) Cassie always seems to know exactly how to help her friends and neighbors find just what they need in her shop. She is a pillar in the community helping everyone she can. There are 4 seasons.
When Calls the Heart
A young school teacher from a wealthy family, decides to rough is as a one room schoolteacher in an old western town. It soon becomes her home and where she falls in love. There are 5 seasons on Netflix.
Sherlock
Benedict Cumberbatch makes this a MUST see series. He adds a neurotic yet lovable touch to the ever popular Sherlock Holmes. Sadly there are only 4 seasons, but another one is on it’s way! Drama, excitement and humor - all in one!
The Good Place
A group of humans finds themselves accidentally in heaven. A funny perspective on the afterlife and how you might react if you were meant for…the other place. There are 3 seasons.
New Girl
Funny and kind of inappropriate at times, this is a modern spin of friends. Follow a group of friends, help together by Jess, as they navigate life, and love in NYC. Funny, ironic, laugh out loud. There are 7 seasons.
I hope you enjoy these 10 series! Many of them are laugh out loud which we know comes with it’s own health benefits making it even better to prioritize when you’re sick!
4 Supplements to Help Your Immune System
School has begun!
Which means fall is here and so are all.the.viruses. Whether you want to boost your own immunity, recover from a cold, or just learn for the future, below are my top supplements for supporting your immune system this fall! You may be surprised that things like echinacea and zinc don’t make the list, but those are wonderful as well - zinc is in most over the counter cold remedies and echinacea seems to be popping up in everything as well so I’m assuming you already know about them :)
Bovine Colostrum
Colostrum is amazing! You may recognize the word as the substance that mothers produce in breast milk right after giving birth. This is why breast feeding is so helpful for babies within the first few weeks because colostrum helps build their immune system providing immunoglobulins and antibodies that they need! Mother cows do this as well, and our bodies respond very well to the bovine colostrum as it is very similar to human colostrum. It assists in healing the gut, calming inflammation and supporting your immune system, just like when you were a baby!
Don’t worry, if you are dairy sensitive you can still use colostrum, most people don’t have any issues with this.
Always look for a grass-fed source.
Vitamin C
Yes, sometimes the oldies are still goodies. However, I bet you don’t know that you can megadose vitamin C to give your immune system a big boost and get faster results! Megadosing is where you take 500-1000mg of Vitamin C every 30 minutes to an hour until you hit bowel tolerance (you get vitamin C diarrhea). There is no harm in this and it won’t hurt you, although some people do experience some bloating and tummy rumbles before this happens so if you feel uncomfortable just lessen the dose or stop. Vitamin C works as an antioxidant and boosts your immune system. Megadosing would be helpful in situations like colds, sinus infections, etc….
Make sure you don’t do this with chewables or any form of vitamin C supplementation that provides sugar. Otherwise you’ll be overdosing on sugar too!
Vitamin D3
Vitamin D is incredibly important for your immune system! In fact, many people who develop chronic diseases have really low levels of Vitamin D and over 40% of Americans are deficient! While everyone is telling you to lather up with sunscreen, you’re unconsciously avoiding one of the most beneficial health exposures you can get by being outside in the sun. Vitamin D3 is best gotten from direct sunlight. Yes - you heard me - avoid wearing sunscreen and soak up that D! Did you know that your body can produce up to 80,000 IU of vitamin D in 20 minutes of sun exposure? But guess what else - there are safety mechanisms built into your biology (God’s pretty smart) that shut down vitamin D production when you’ve had enough! So don’t go getting a sunburn by any means. Be responsible in the sun and cover up, get in the shade or go back inside. But GET direct sunlight on your skin every single day. Your body absorbs and utilizes vitamin D MOST effectively this way.
Here are some fascinating podcasts on the topic of sun exposure and it’s health benefits. I literally never wear sunscreen unless I’ll be out in direct sunlight in the middle of the day for multiple hours. Otherwise, I do my bet to get as much sun exposure as I can throughout the year!
When supplementing, you CAN overdose, so I would recommend working with a professional or getting your blood checked to monitor your levels if this is a concern for you.
Dr. Mercola interviews Marc Sorenson ( May 5, 2019 episode)
Is sunscreen ok to use? - Wise Traditions episode #193
Chaga
Mushrooms are a fungus and would usually be viewed as a food, but now that they are gaining popularity in everything from tumor fighting properties to immune system regulation and brain focus they come in powders that you can take in supplemental or powder form (mix in a smoothie etc…) Chaga is one famous medicinal mushroom know specifically for supporting the immune system.
I personally love to use Foursigmatic as my mushroom provider because they are very careful about quality, they use a dual extract process so the product has the most benefits, AND they provide you withmany delicious ways to get the mushrooms into your day like my favorite lions mane and chaga coffee, hot chocolates, teas, or superfoods blends. Use code TINYFITDIVA for 10% off if you choose to try it!
I hope this has has given you some new inspiration for the fall season! What immune boosting supplements are your favorite?
p.s. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
5 Budget Friendly ways to support your body during cancer treatment
Hey there!!
I recently shared an article on what supplements I used during chemotherapy , and how much we spent out of pocket to take an integrative approach to my cancer treatment.
I KNOW that integrative care can be expensive. It is not covered by insurance, specialists are paid per visit, and fancy treatments like vitamin IVs are all out of pocket. While there’s no way to integrate your care COMPLETELY free, there are ways you can get resources and information that you can incorporate yourself for an affordable rate.
I will just state a caveat/personal opinion here: If at ALL POSSIBLE I would highly recommend hiring a specialist. During chemo you are tired, easily get demotivated, and experience brain fog or “chemo brain”.
While you may be 100% capable of doing your own research, finding what works and implementing yourself when healthy, you will, at minimum, need a support system to encourage you, cook for you the way you want, and help you accomplish any therapies you’d like to utilize through this process.
That being said, here are lots of resources for you!
5 Budget Friendly Ways to Support
Your Body During Cancer Treatment
1) Books
There are SO MANY books that you can read about integrative care, nutrition, supplementation, how cancer works, how you can support your body during and after chemo etc…. Here are a few that I have found to be really wonderful resources:
Beating Cancer with Nutrition
I found this book to be not only incredibly encouraging, but also packed with information! I particularly appreciated the authors approach to integrative care. His point is that sometimes it IS necessary to address the toxic load through conventional treatment (getting rid of tumors, going through chemotherapy etc) but that it is not only MORE effective to use nutrition to support your body, but done right, nutrition and supplementation can also help you to avoid unnecessary side effects by protecting your organs, cells, energy etc….
In this book, Patrick Quillin discusses what causes cancer, foods that fight cancer and so much more. You will learn so much about your body, the environment, toxicity and more! In addition you’ll receive specific supplement and dosage recommendations, a letter for your oncologist, and lots of recipes in the back.
The Cancer Fighting Kitchen Cookbook
You may or may not use all the recipes in this book, but U found it incredibly helpful to skim before beginning treatment. Rebecca Katz talked about things I wouldn’t have known to think about including how to eat before, during and after an infusion. Regardless of whether you use these recipes, during your treatment, it’s a fantastic resource and it’s filled with super delicious recipes!
Emotional Detox
Many believe that cancers develop because of “stuck” emotions or unhealed traumas. Whether you believe that or not, this healing journey will be deeper and more long lasting if you dive into emotional and spiritual healing avenues throughout this process. I would encourage you to do a lot of research on this topic, ask for prayer from your church, and become open to what God may share with you during this time!
While this isn’t a book I read during my own treatment phase, I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this book and the author. If you want to learn more about your body and the development of cancer ( and what you can do to prevent recurrence in the future) then this is an amazing resource!
Radical Remission
This time of your life is HARD. Regardless of where you are, it’s crucial to fill your mind with positive thoughts, hopeful images, and pans for the future. Reading inspirational stories of people who have gone into remission and what tools were shared between them can be really encouraging!
Green Smoothie Diet
Whether you are prepping your body BEFORE chemo, approaching treatment through natural methods only, or recovering from conventional treatment, greens, juices, and smoothies are a fast way to get dense nutrition into your cells! Robyn Openshaw has not only experienced health problems herself, but has been hit with cancer several times in her immediate family and she has traveled the world visiting cancer treatment facilities.
2) Podcasts
There are SO MANY doctors, naturopaths and healers that use this platform to educate the public. This extends their reach far beyond what they would be able to accomplish by just seeing their patients 1:1 in the office setting. Below are some specific podcast episodes you may enjoy - if you enjoy the episode, consider listing to other episodes from the same host!
Dr. Mercola and Dr. Nasha Winters “Natural Cancer Remedies” - this episode provides valuable information on testing, integrative care and more….
Ben Greenfield Podcast “How to cure Yourself of Cancer “ with Eric Remensperger - listen to one man’s story of healing! And scroll down to the bottom of the show notes for several other episode on cancer!
The Stern Method Podcast “Natural Healing Success” with Robyn Openshaw - Robyn shares her own health stories, her families experience with cancer, and her experiences visiting cancer treatment facilities around the world.
3) Online Holistic or Integrative Care
Websites, Blogs and Therapies
4) Nutrition
Do I REALLY need to add this one? Yes. Because most doctors will not give you any information on what to eat before, during, or after cancer treatment! Before and after treatment (when your immune system is functioning) fresh fruits and vegetables are the way to go! (But no, I’m not telling you to go without protein - it’s crucial for detox!)
I actually don’t promote extreme diets like Keto or juice fasting, but there may be situations, cancers, and stages where this may be appropriate. Work with a professional in this area if you want to do anything extreme so that you can monitor you blood work and results regularly.
General principles apply to anyone with any cancer, at any stage of treatment however and those are the same overarching principles that cover the rest of the world as well. Eat real food.
Many docs are so worried about you losing weight that they will encourage you to “eat anything” to maintain your weight including ice cream or mcdonalds. Because that helps your immune system function well, your cells repair, and your energy bounce back…RIGHT?! While nutrient IVs may be needed in emergency situations, maintaining a nutrient dense diet throughout and making sure you are getting healthy foods and protecting your gut, can only HELP you maintain your protein levels and weight.
There isn’t a whole lot you can do to save your immune system during chemo. It’s gonna take a hit, period. But you CAN support your body by eating anti-inflammatory foods. The same kind of diet that is beneficial for everyone. Not extreme, but filled with whole foods.
Eat fresh fruits and veggies until your white blood cell counts get low and then switch to cooked and steamed but don’t stop eating vegetables! Fill the rest of your day with healthy fats, high quality proteins and nutrient dense meals to support your muscle maintenance, brain health, cell health, and energy levels.
p.s. I personally had weird cravings around chemo treatments in addition to major food aversions. Listen to your body! I gave myself a 72 hour grace period where I would be much more lax about balancing my meals and go with what felt or tasted good (within certain guidelines). But then I would do my best to get back to a balanced diet!
“Chemo, radiation and surgery will reduce tumor burden but do nothing to change the underlying conditions that allows this abnormal growth to thrive”
- Patrick Quillin “Beating Cancer with Nutrition”
Don’t underestimate the power of food to change your cellular environment! Nutrition, mindset, and spiritual healing are all steps you can take to not only support yourself DURING treatment, but prepare your body to be as strong as possible BEFORE treatment and remain in remission AFTER treatment.
5) Supplements
I’ve already shared what supplements I personally used, but I would always recommend you work with someone specializing in integrative care! WHY? Because if your symptoms change or a side effect begins to develop, you can always change course under their supervision.
Every coach needs a coach, every athlete needs a trainer, so even if you feel really educated on supplements, this is a stressful time where you will feel fatigued and not quite yourself. Utilize as many support resources as you can! Supplements are one of the more affordable therapies available!
There are some supplements that protect you during chemotherapy, some supplements that specifically attack tumors, and some that boost your immune system and support your mitochondria and cell health! You’ll want to incorporate different ones at different times throughout your healing journey.
Once you are in remission I would recommend at minimum doing a food sensitivity test to lower inflammation and see which foods you have developed sensitivities to after the enormous amount of emotional and physical stress you just went through. I would encourage you to re-test 3 months later, and then 6 months after that as your body continues to heal.
Want more support? Join my free Healthy Through Hodgkins community where I share integrative approaches to healing, nutritional tips, detox information and more!
p.s. nothing in this blog is meant to take the place of medical advice. Please share changes you make with your oncologist, and hire specialists to advise you in any medical concerns. This is not a medical website and I am not a doctor.
Supplements I used during chemo
Hello friends!
Many of you have been interested in my use of an integrative approach to treatment during my 3 months of chemotherapy. I chose to follow the conventional method for 3 main reasons:
I wanted to stay home close to my family alternative care centers are based throughout the country and the world but would require me to live there for periods of time)
My specific cancer has an extremely high success rate when treated with chemo. This is not the case for all cancers. Even my holistic minded, naturopathic and functional medicine friends pointed me in this direction for this case.
I had already done SO much with supplementation and lifestyle, my goal was to eliminate the burden of the tumor in my body so that I could continue with my healthy lifestyle allowing it to remain in remission.
That being said, I took a very integrative approach to treatment and we spent over $20K out of pocket to incorporate things like a detox specialist (using after treatment) an emotional code therapist (to dig deeper to any emotional blocks or issues I needed to release that may be hindering my healing, hiring an integrative oncologist/naturopath to guide me through supplementation to counteract any side effects from the chemo and protect my body through the process keeping it as strong as possible, and Vitamin C IVs on the off weeks to help me recover, but also to act as an assist to the chemo itself.
That’s a pretty hefty price tag but one we were willing to pay. Choosing conventional treatment was something Patrick and I both had peace about, but living with long term side effects like heart damage, lung problems, or peripheral neuropathy was NOT something I wanted to deal with later. In my view, choosing to pay quite a bit up front to support my body through this journey is in replacement of paying for long term medical care the rest of my life.
One of the most effective and affordable portions of my investment were the supplements and many have asked what used! I wanted to share them below but first I must say that I don’t recommend just reading a book and incorporating supplements, or guessing at what your body needs. I know quite a bit about supplementation and my body but I hired a specialist to guide me through the process and the tweaks and adjustment she helped me make were invaluable the past 3 months. If you would like to hire the same woman I used you can visit her website at www.drheatherpaulson.com
So let’s get to it! Below are al the supplements I was taking by the end of my treatment and that I will remain taking for the next few months.
Most were recommended by my naturopath, some were from personal preference, some were added as we went along and some I was horrible at taking.
Acetyl L Carnitine - For protecting my heart, lungs, kidneys and possibly helping fatigue
L- glutamine - to maintain muscle mass, heal my gut and epithelial lining, prevent mouth sores, and protect against neuropathy
Vitamin E - immune system support
Vitamin D - immune system support
CoQ10 - protect the heart and mitochondrial support
Beef liver - provides B vitamins, Fit A, selenium, and I always feel better on it. In fact, I didn’t take this the first part of my treatments and I’m fairly certain my hair stopped falling out in conjunction with when I brought it back in to my daily regimen
Marrow plus - added in once my WBC began dropping after treatments.
Amy Myers Multivitamin - this was just a multi I really love and was already taking - I ran out and didn’t refill it towards the end just because I was taking so many other things
Vitamin C - immune system support
Complete B-Complex - B vitamins are very helpful with energy and preventing neuropathy. Always look for a high quality b complex that uses folate or L methyfolate and not folic acid
Alphs Lipoic Acid - protects against neuropathy
B-6 (pyridoxal 5 phosphate) - assist with nausea
Biocidin - this is an herbal antibiotic and I didn’t take this at first, but after getting an infection, spending an night in the hospital, and having to be on a ROUGH and strong antibiotic for 10 days, I immediately added this back in when that was over and never had any more problems. It’s the safest, most gentle and still most effecti antibiotic alternative I know of.
Fish oil - for inflammation and cell health. I was horrible at takin this but intend to be much more religious about it during recovery
Curcumin - anti-inflammatory - again I was horrible with taking this just on top of everything else!
And there you have it! This ended up being a VERY large handful of supplements at breakfast with a few second doses later in the day when I could remember and or make my self do it. It was quite a bit. But I will say, I think it helped me tremendously :)
Want more encouragement, tips, and information on integrative care? Join my free community
Healthy Through Hodgkins!
God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.
We hear this phrase often, but do we really believe it? Over the past 7 months, it would be easy for me to become depressed, discouraged, angry, frustrated and so much more. I mean, who dedicates their life to getting healthy and helping others stay healthy and then gets cancer? Doesn’t seem fair does it…
But because of my faith, I knew from the start that:
There was a plan
Whether I enjoyed the process or not, there was a purpose and
I would come out strong in the end andlearn some yet unknown lessons that needed to be learned
And sure enough, here I am, at the end of this journey (and the beginning of a new one) having fulfilled each of those things.
Plan
Not surprisingly, from day 1, I saw that God had been planning this journey for several years.
I discovered my tumor had been there for 2 years
I discovered later that cancer develops (like autoimmune diseases, another form of immune system dysregulation) over 7-10 years
I knew that had I not gotten sick in 2015, I wouldn’t have become an FDN
Had I not become and FDN, I wouldn’t have gotten to deep into healing, and already put in several years of work
Had I not put in the work, this journey may have been much more difficult for me
Had I not become an FDN and really invested in myself and my business I wouldn’t have gone to Mindshare (a networking summit with some of the top functional medicine docs around the country)
Had I not gone to Mindshare, I wouldn’t have had access to any of the experts I used to guide me through this process (detox expert, emotional healing expert, integrative naturopath specializing in cancer)
Had I not had access to these people I may have experiences loads more symptoms and not recovered as quickly in between treatments. I am walking away with no long term effects on my heart, lungs, or nerves and during the process I never experienced severe constipation, or pain of any kind. The most regular symptoms for me were fatigue, nausea and some acid reflux/discomfort from the epithelial lining being so raw from this process. I didn’t even lose all my hair ( I really think it stopped when I started taking beef liver again!) I had some many people praying for me across the country - I know that God protected me in many ways throughout this process.
So…..You see…..from the beginning I knew there was a plan. God knew that this was part of my journey and he set me up to navigate it as successfully as I possibly could. He blinded my eyes to the tumor ( which I could see in pictures stating 2 years prior) until it was the right time and I knew the right people.
But for whatever reason….this was still something He wanted me to experience.
Purpose
I knew there was some purpose to this. Maybe it was to solidify my stance that there is benefit to both conventional and natural medicines….maybe it was to strengthen my faith….maybe it was to help me empathize with clients and understand the body better….
Whatever the reason, I knew there was a purpose. And while I have learned MANY lessons, and had many A HA! moments, I may learn the ultimate purpose much later….or never at all….
Discovery
The first 3 months were the hardest. My body was shocked with this new treatment, I didn’t know what to expect, and anytime my white blood cells tanked it scared me. Everything was so new. The second treatment was the hardest as I ended up with an infection and an overnight hospital stay. This effectively eliminated my recovery period between treatments and so I wasn’t as strong going into the 3rd. But then around this time, I decided I really needed to continue living my life. I couldn’t just STOP living and so as I felt well, I did things that made me happy like singing and being around people again.
And throughout this last half of treatment I had revelation upon revelation about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of life I want to live, how I want to relate to other people and even how I want to run my business.
This isn’t to diminish the pain, fear, and uncertainty of this process. It’s not fun, and treatment weekends are the worst. Over the next 3 days I’ll spend most of my time in bed, popping nausea pills, sleeping, and forcing myself to drink water that to me tastes disgusting just to avoid dehydration which makes EVERYTHING worse.
But I simply don’t know how I would have navigated this without my faith. Without knowing that God had a plan, I wouldn’t have been looking for it. Without assuming there was a purpose, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mentality positive and hopeful. Without knowing that there were lessons to be learned, I wouldn’t have be open to receiving all the downloads I was being divinely sent.
This was something I was meant to go through. I’m thankful that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I praise God for knowing what I needed, and I can’t wait to implement my new life goals. Some of the best things in life come from the most painful experiences. I hope I never have to go through this again, but the battle was worth the win.
Toxin Free Skin Care and...why I care about it!
Hey hey Diva friends!!!
Over the past 7 years my health has been a series of small steps in the right direction slowly adding up over time. My first big change was my diet….after that I eventually gave up wall plug ins and most of my plastic containers. I slowly began switching my soaps and household items to become a more toxin free environment….
When I got diagnosed with Hodgkins and began reading up on it I realized that it’s particularly effected by environmental toxins (but to be honest….aren’t all cancers?? HELLO immune disruption!!)
So now more than ever it’s important to me that I make as many positive choices regarding my surroundings as possible. The way I see it, we have ultimate control over 3 things:
What comes into our homes
What goes into our mouths
What goes on on our bodies
Skin care falls within that third category and I thought today I would share with you what brand I’m loving! Skin care and makeup were frontiers I held out on for awhile because let’s face it….it’s TOUGH to find a product that claims to be toxin free that 1) actually IS, and 2) still performs at a high level!!!
Why should we care about toxins and chemicals? Doesn’t the FDA keep us safe?
We care because what goes onto your skin gets into your blood stream within less than a minute. (Think nicotine patches, essential oils, and birth control patches as examples of how potent substances can get inside our bodies this way)…
No the FDA does not keep us safe. Now just to clarifiy, I firmly believe the answer to this is education and personal responsibility, not more government involvement. But to explain the problem, there are only a few chemicals deemed toxic enough by the FDA that companies are not allowed to put them into skincare products… but there are many many more that are allowed to be included that have been shown to disrupt hormones, stress the liver and act as carcingens! This is why I love third party advocates like the environmental working group to help me stay safe, and why I think its more critical than ever to be an informed consumer!
It’s all about toxic load. No-one can ever be perfect. If you want to live your life on the grid so to speak, it will be very difficult to eliminate every toxin ever. And that’s ok. Because our skin, liver, kidneys and lymph systems are designed to process, break down and flush toxins out!!! But it’s all about toxic load. When we live in a world surrounded by smokers, prescription pills, antibiotics, glyphosate sprayed crops, fluoride and chlorine in our water supply, hormone disrupters in our perfumes, wall plug ins and well….you get the pictureControl what we can, so that our body can do its job.
So where I suggest we put our time (besides awareness and education) is in our food supply and what items we choose to bring in our homes or put on our body (skin!)
So I’m really excited to share some of my favorite products with you!!! After using these for at least a year, I can securely tell you that I LOVE Beautycounter skincare. Specifically, I love the countermatch face milk and moisturizer!
Why do I love this particular skincare? Glad you asked!
1) Truly toxin free.
Many products on the shelf have flashy marketing, catchy words like “all natural” and pretty green and white packaging to make you think that they are really toxin free, organic, and safe for you. And I’m not going to lie, I do’t have time to look up every scientific word on the back of a bottle to see if it’s actually from a natural source or if it’s man made. It gets confusing!! So I trust EWG.org to help me check the products that I use and their safety levels. Ideally you want everything to be a 1 (least toxic) but realistically, most things between 1-3 should be ok for regular use!
The Beautycounter Countermach face milk and moisturizer both come in with a stellar rating of 1!!
2) This particular face wash and lotion is very gently and adaptive for most skin types whether you have dry skin or oily. You can read more about that here. It gently removes makeup and leaves your face feeling fresh and soft! The moisturizer smells of almond extract which I absolutely love.
Two other additions I can’t live without:
Beautycounter eye makeup remover: All I have to say is: have you tried Mary Kay eye makeup remover?? I know - it’s UH MAYZING. And I never thought I could get away from it (having tried the less that awesome over the counter brands)…until Beautycounter!
Cleansing face wipes: If you travel these are a MUST!!! I’ve tried to take the eye makeup remover with me and no matter high highly I screw the cap on, it leaks in my suitcase leaving a hard to clean up oil residue (just ask my hubby!). These cleansing cloths not only travel well, but you can really cut them into quarters if you’d like because they are so big!
And there you have it’ my daily, basic, skincare routine
Countermatch adaptive moisturizer
and either: Beautycounter eye makeup remover or Cleansing wipes
You really don’t need much more than that ( in skincare) when you’re drinking lots of water, eating healthy fats, getting sunshine and living a healthy life! Have you tried countermatch? I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
p.s. no company gets everything right 100% of the time, but Beautycounter is on a mission to make their products as safe as possible. I always recommend double checking each product individually to make sure you feel comofrotable using it!
p.p.s. The links in this post are direct links to purchase through me! I use the products so much and believe in their mission, so I signed up myself! I hope you enjoy the products as much as I do.
22 ways you can support a cancer patient today
Hey hey Diva friends!!
Today I’m sharing 20 ways you can support a cancer patient today! I have been SOOOOOOO surrounded by love and support and kindness the past few months and some of the things people have done have really surprised me and been totally awesome! I wanted to share in case you know of anyone that could benefit too!
Send a cancer empathy card. For the friend who enjoys laughter, sarcasm, and reality
Set up a meal train. Be sure to ask them what dates would be most helpful and what foods they don’t like or have sensitivities to. You can use a service like takethemameal.com to make it easy to share it with friends, family and church groups that might be willing to fill it up!
Pray for them
Send them a Whole Foods gift card!
Send them an encouraging note. I just received a package from my sister and brother in law’s church with 10 cards - 1 to open for 10 days - each with encouraging notes!
Gift them a hand held oil diffuser for hospital visits or at home nausea
Mix an anti-nausea oils or an oil blend to sniff at the hospital or use at home
Send a project chemo blanket from www.projectchemocrochet.com
Send some fresh flowers or succulents to brighten their home
Text them ,“How are you feeling today?”
Gift them a notebook with encouraging comments and verses like this one to write down their experiences and keep track of doctors, visits and symptoms.
Mail them a book you think they may enjoy
Recommend some great Netflix shows/movies
Let them know you’re there if they need anything
Leave an encouraging voicemail or text
Send them a Visa or grocery gift card
Ask if they would like to go on walks with you
Ask about their treatment schedule and be proactive about scheduling activities or get togethers on days they think they will feel their best so they have things to look forward to
Sit with them during their chemo infusions
Pre-pay for a massage or meal delivery (if they would like that).
Send them an encouraging bookmark
Create a gift basket of fun things appropriate to their experience, likes, and needs!
And there you have it! 22 ways you can support a cancer patient today. Every single one of these (except for Netflix - I was all over that myself haha) were kind things that people did for me! I was blown away how much people cared, and how every single thing on this list meant a great deal whether it was a free gift or a costly one, and whether it was from someone I knew or a total stranger.
Have you been through chemotherapy or know someone who has? What other ideas could you add to this list? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below!
