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10 things not to do or say to a person with cancer
Hey hey Diva friends!
In my last post, I shared 22 ways to support a cancer patient and today I’m going to share….what NOT to do! Many of these are things that people will offer or say from a sincere and kind place in their heart…but please…..just don’t.
Read the list below and say something like this instead! ;)
Click the picture to buy this or other cancer empathy cards!
Things not to say (or do)
“Your hair will grow back!” - we know. That doesn’t make it less traumatizing!
“This is all happening for a reason” - Again, we know. But maybe we don’t. And until we KNOW the reason or can glean some life lessons from it…this comment hurts.
“You’re so lucky! This one is treatable!” - Just because Hodgkin’s is a “curable” cancer doesn’t mean the treatment is less toxic, less painful or less difficult.
Don’t offer them an MLM product or magic solution that only you must know about. (caveat here: there are some valid alternative therapies and nutritional supplements and approaches that can significantly help a cancer patient. But please don’t reach out to a stranger offering them an MLM product that they purchase from you. Close friends and family are the only ones that this is an appropriate offering from and even then there is an appropriate way to offer it.)
Don’t hook them up with your friend so-and-so who had the same kind of cancer. Unless you’ve already asked if that is something they would appreciate. (Everyone wants to help and they may already have connected with 5 other people!)
Don’t say this will bring them closer in their walk with God, or that cancer is a learning opportunity. It will, and it. an be, but depending on where they are emotionally this can come across as very insensitive.
Don’t ask them why they chose the treatment they did.
“You don’t look sick” - gee thanks. I look amazing while I feel like poop!
“This is just part of your journey” - not helpful.
Don’t share a 10 minute story about your cousin who had the same cancer and they are just great now! We know you want to be encouraging, but when we are in the middle of processing a diagnosis and thinking about what to do, how to stay healthy, and what the next few months will look like…hearing random stories of people we have never met who may have had a different staging, be a different age, or sex, or even a completely different cancer….can be frustrating. I’ll be honest - our brains shut down for the first few months simply because we are in shock!
And there you have it! 10 things that would be really easy to say in the NICEST of ways but….don’t really sound good to someone facing the scariest part of their life so far!! Everyone’s journey is different, and sometimes encouraging stories can be encouraging…but they can also be really annoying because the person you are telling this to, knows that their story is unique and they DON’T know the outcome yet.
Try to back off of advice and just let them know it’s ok to feel however they feel. Scared, angry, sad, nervous….and you are there for them no matter what! They will really appreciate you all the more :)
Need extra support and encouragement? Join my free FB group
“Healthy Through Hodgkins” where I share integrative approached, detox tips, immune boosting ideas and more!
5 Budget Friendly ways to support your body during cancer treatment
Hey there!!
I recently shared an article on what supplements I used during chemotherapy , and how much we spent out of pocket to take an integrative approach to my cancer treatment.
I KNOW that integrative care can be expensive. It is not covered by insurance, specialists are paid per visit, and fancy treatments like vitamin IVs are all out of pocket. While there’s no way to integrate your care COMPLETELY free, there are ways you can get resources and information that you can incorporate yourself for an affordable rate.
I will just state a caveat/personal opinion here: If at ALL POSSIBLE I would highly recommend hiring a specialist. During chemo you are tired, easily get demotivated, and experience brain fog or “chemo brain”.
While you may be 100% capable of doing your own research, finding what works and implementing yourself when healthy, you will, at minimum, need a support system to encourage you, cook for you the way you want, and help you accomplish any therapies you’d like to utilize through this process.
That being said, here are lots of resources for you!
5 Budget Friendly Ways to Support
Your Body During Cancer Treatment
1) Books
There are SO MANY books that you can read about integrative care, nutrition, supplementation, how cancer works, how you can support your body during and after chemo etc…. Here are a few that I have found to be really wonderful resources:
Beating Cancer with Nutrition
I found this book to be not only incredibly encouraging, but also packed with information! I particularly appreciated the authors approach to integrative care. His point is that sometimes it IS necessary to address the toxic load through conventional treatment (getting rid of tumors, going through chemotherapy etc) but that it is not only MORE effective to use nutrition to support your body, but done right, nutrition and supplementation can also help you to avoid unnecessary side effects by protecting your organs, cells, energy etc….
In this book, Patrick Quillin discusses what causes cancer, foods that fight cancer and so much more. You will learn so much about your body, the environment, toxicity and more! In addition you’ll receive specific supplement and dosage recommendations, a letter for your oncologist, and lots of recipes in the back.
The Cancer Fighting Kitchen Cookbook
You may or may not use all the recipes in this book, but U found it incredibly helpful to skim before beginning treatment. Rebecca Katz talked about things I wouldn’t have known to think about including how to eat before, during and after an infusion. Regardless of whether you use these recipes, during your treatment, it’s a fantastic resource and it’s filled with super delicious recipes!
Emotional Detox
Many believe that cancers develop because of “stuck” emotions or unhealed traumas. Whether you believe that or not, this healing journey will be deeper and more long lasting if you dive into emotional and spiritual healing avenues throughout this process. I would encourage you to do a lot of research on this topic, ask for prayer from your church, and become open to what God may share with you during this time!
While this isn’t a book I read during my own treatment phase, I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this book and the author. If you want to learn more about your body and the development of cancer ( and what you can do to prevent recurrence in the future) then this is an amazing resource!
Radical Remission
This time of your life is HARD. Regardless of where you are, it’s crucial to fill your mind with positive thoughts, hopeful images, and pans for the future. Reading inspirational stories of people who have gone into remission and what tools were shared between them can be really encouraging!
Green Smoothie Diet
Whether you are prepping your body BEFORE chemo, approaching treatment through natural methods only, or recovering from conventional treatment, greens, juices, and smoothies are a fast way to get dense nutrition into your cells! Robyn Openshaw has not only experienced health problems herself, but has been hit with cancer several times in her immediate family and she has traveled the world visiting cancer treatment facilities.
2) Podcasts
There are SO MANY doctors, naturopaths and healers that use this platform to educate the public. This extends their reach far beyond what they would be able to accomplish by just seeing their patients 1:1 in the office setting. Below are some specific podcast episodes you may enjoy - if you enjoy the episode, consider listing to other episodes from the same host!
Dr. Mercola and Dr. Nasha Winters “Natural Cancer Remedies” - this episode provides valuable information on testing, integrative care and more….
Ben Greenfield Podcast “How to cure Yourself of Cancer “ with Eric Remensperger - listen to one man’s story of healing! And scroll down to the bottom of the show notes for several other episode on cancer!
The Stern Method Podcast “Natural Healing Success” with Robyn Openshaw - Robyn shares her own health stories, her families experience with cancer, and her experiences visiting cancer treatment facilities around the world.
3) Online Holistic or Integrative Care
Websites, Blogs and Therapies
4) Nutrition
Do I REALLY need to add this one? Yes. Because most doctors will not give you any information on what to eat before, during, or after cancer treatment! Before and after treatment (when your immune system is functioning) fresh fruits and vegetables are the way to go! (But no, I’m not telling you to go without protein - it’s crucial for detox!)
I actually don’t promote extreme diets like Keto or juice fasting, but there may be situations, cancers, and stages where this may be appropriate. Work with a professional in this area if you want to do anything extreme so that you can monitor you blood work and results regularly.
General principles apply to anyone with any cancer, at any stage of treatment however and those are the same overarching principles that cover the rest of the world as well. Eat real food.
Many docs are so worried about you losing weight that they will encourage you to “eat anything” to maintain your weight including ice cream or mcdonalds. Because that helps your immune system function well, your cells repair, and your energy bounce back…RIGHT?! While nutrient IVs may be needed in emergency situations, maintaining a nutrient dense diet throughout and making sure you are getting healthy foods and protecting your gut, can only HELP you maintain your protein levels and weight.
There isn’t a whole lot you can do to save your immune system during chemo. It’s gonna take a hit, period. But you CAN support your body by eating anti-inflammatory foods. The same kind of diet that is beneficial for everyone. Not extreme, but filled with whole foods.
Eat fresh fruits and veggies until your white blood cell counts get low and then switch to cooked and steamed but don’t stop eating vegetables! Fill the rest of your day with healthy fats, high quality proteins and nutrient dense meals to support your muscle maintenance, brain health, cell health, and energy levels.
p.s. I personally had weird cravings around chemo treatments in addition to major food aversions. Listen to your body! I gave myself a 72 hour grace period where I would be much more lax about balancing my meals and go with what felt or tasted good (within certain guidelines). But then I would do my best to get back to a balanced diet!
“Chemo, radiation and surgery will reduce tumor burden but do nothing to change the underlying conditions that allows this abnormal growth to thrive”
- Patrick Quillin “Beating Cancer with Nutrition”
Don’t underestimate the power of food to change your cellular environment! Nutrition, mindset, and spiritual healing are all steps you can take to not only support yourself DURING treatment, but prepare your body to be as strong as possible BEFORE treatment and remain in remission AFTER treatment.
5) Supplements
I’ve already shared what supplements I personally used, but I would always recommend you work with someone specializing in integrative care! WHY? Because if your symptoms change or a side effect begins to develop, you can always change course under their supervision.
Every coach needs a coach, every athlete needs a trainer, so even if you feel really educated on supplements, this is a stressful time where you will feel fatigued and not quite yourself. Utilize as many support resources as you can! Supplements are one of the more affordable therapies available!
There are some supplements that protect you during chemotherapy, some supplements that specifically attack tumors, and some that boost your immune system and support your mitochondria and cell health! You’ll want to incorporate different ones at different times throughout your healing journey.
Once you are in remission I would recommend at minimum doing a food sensitivity test to lower inflammation and see which foods you have developed sensitivities to after the enormous amount of emotional and physical stress you just went through. I would encourage you to re-test 3 months later, and then 6 months after that as your body continues to heal.
Want more support? Join my free Healthy Through Hodgkins community where I share integrative approaches to healing, nutritional tips, detox information and more!
p.s. nothing in this blog is meant to take the place of medical advice. Please share changes you make with your oncologist, and hire specialists to advise you in any medical concerns. This is not a medical website and I am not a doctor.
3 things that trash your gut (and what you can do about it)
Hello friends!
I’m sitting on my hotel patio in sunny California this morning getting ready to attend the Mindshare Collaborate summit! I had some down time before everything gets rolling and wanted to share a few things that get our tummies into trouble and of course….what the heck we can do about it!
Almost all of my personal clients have SOME sort of gut distress whether it be bloating, constipation, stomach pain or acid reflux. Below are just a few things to consider when experiencing some of these problems!
Stress
YES STRESS!!! I put this point first because of ALL the things we want to address, stress is the one that we most want to overlook. We are busy, we live in a world where we want to go go go, drink all the coffee, and accomplish all the things….but stress is really the underlying problem that contributes to the development of disease, but also our seeming inability to heal once we experience symptoms….
Poor food choices
Well, obviously, you knew that I couldn’t mention tummy troubles without mentioning food. I promote #YOUtrition which means there is no one right diet that works for everyone HOWEVER there is ONE food I get hard core with my clients on and insists that they eliminate 100% and that is wheat/gluten.
The overarching principles that work for everyone are:
Avoid gluten like it’s the plague (it’s soaked in glyphosate which kills your beneficial gut bugs and gluten is inflammatory)
Avoid processed foods as much as possible and when needing something quick, choose foods that technically could be made at home if you had the time or inclination ( always read labels to determine this!)
Limit sugar intake. This might be the hardest right?! 3 things you could incorporate right away that make a big difference:
Stop drinking soda ( and don’t switch to diet)
Stop drinking latte’s and drink black coffee (I like Foursigmatic) or cold brew with a splash of vanilla almond or coconut milk
don’t have sugar in your house. Ever. ( This way if you are going out to eat and want a gf dessert you don’t stress about the sugar - it’s treat! But you also don’t have a bag full of white sugar at home just waiting to be used.
Overuse of Antibiotics, NSAIDS and pharmaceuticals
There is a time and place for all of these, but they are grossly overused in a culture where we seek a quick fix and a pill for every ill instead of putting the time and extra effort in to live a healthy lifestyle, get to the underlying problems causing the symptoms we want to relieve, and prioritize nutritional density like our lives depend on it (which they do by the way) :)
So what can you do about it?
Well, LIMITING your stress, ditching gluten sugar, and processed foods, and being mindful anytime you need to use prescription or over the counter symptoms reliever.
If your’e reading this then chances are you’ve been exposed to gluten, sugar, stress and prescriptions so I want to dig a little deeper into a few more things you can incorporate right away
Probiotics
I encourage everyone to use a quality spore based probiotic like Megaspore! Thats my favorite, and if you would like a recommendation, just shoot me your email and I’m happy to set yup an account for you! After stress, and, well, LIFE, it’s important to make sure we are refueling our guts with the good guys.
I also encourage you to begin incorporating probiotic rich foods like kimchi and sauerkraut on a regular basis! YUM. I love some good sauerkraut next to my meat and veggies!
Soothe and Repair
Beyond feeding our guts the good stuff, we want to make sure that the damaged caused from all our past bad habits (hello Mountain Dew and Oreos!) are healed - a great supplements like GI Repair from Innate response is filled with soothing herbs like marshmallow root, aloe, slipper elm, and include L-Glutamine which helps the cells in your gut lining repair themselves!
Bring in the JOY
Stress relief is about so much more than just becoming ZEN and getting into yoga, meditation and mindfulness. It’s a bout BALANCE which means you also need to create a life you live and include things that make you joyful and happy. Laugh more - spend time with friends, watch silly movies, take a hike and connect to nature, and walk barefoot outside!
What tips have you found helpful? I’d love to hear below! Share this post with a friend you think might find this useful!
3 Day Refresh
Hey there!!!! I am MORE than anxious to kickstart my healing journey and to give myself a solid 3 day boost, I recently finished the 3 day refresh from Beachbody!
Now before you think I’m just pushing an MLM product….let me share my Beachbody history and thoughts with you :). A few years ago (2015) I began my pursuit of a healthier, stronger me by joining an online fitness group using Beachbody workouts (21 day fix, etc!). I LOVED IT. I decided to sign up as a coach and actively worked that as a job for about 2 years.
The reason I “walked away” from that isn’t because I disliked it, but because I found my true calling as an FDN, and my focus on physical perfection became less and less important as I became more and more obsessed with the idea of lifelong vitality, internal health, spiritual health and exercise in moderation.
That being said, I promise to ALWAYS be honest with you and that means sharing things that I like AND don’t like about certain companies or products….so I don’t want you to assume that because I’m sharing a Beachbody product that I endorse everything they sell.
For example, here are a few things I do not endorse/support about Beachbody:
The exercise every day no matter what mindset
The portion control for life mindset (container system)
Many of their performance supplements/shakes (ingredients or quality or purpose)
Folic acid and fortification in the whey shakeology and Vanilla Fresh shakes (not necessary and not ok for people with MTHFR - which many people don’t know they have)
What I DO like about Beachbody:
Really great at home workout programs (as long as you don’t get obsessed and can still listen to your body and take breaks!)
Beachbody on Demand option allowing for streaming of yoga, bodybuilding or HIIT workouts in your own home
In their health and wellness line overseen by Isabela Daikler and Darin Olien the quality and thought that goes into their products is amazing - this includes Shakeology, 3 day refresh and the 21 day ultimate reset. This line is very separate and distinct from their performance/athletic line and is highly focused on deep nutrition and gut health - things I LOVE!
I really do LOVE vegan shakeology. There are several reasons I love it including the amount of nutrition you get in one shake, the flavor that beats all other protein shake competition, and their actual concern for the quality of the ingredients from around the world. In fact, whenever they do an ingredient or product formula overhaul I’m always pleased with their reasoning. The more research I did, the more I was impressed with their dedication to a truly healthy product packed with superfoods. That and the fact that I simply feel better when I drink it! Trust me - I stopped drinking it for 2 months and as soon I brought it back in I noticed a difference!
Whew! Now that we have that out of the way :) I’ve been struggling this past year with my love for SOME of their products, but my focus on building my own brand and not wanting to come off as promoting an MLM. But basically, I’ve gotten over it. I’m going to share products I love with you regardless of where they come from. But I will NOT share a product that I DON’T love, just because it comes from a company I like and support. Make sense?
3 Day Refresh
This is the second time I’ve done the 3 day refresh and each time was different! I remember a few years ago when I tried it I was super hungry and had some major carb cravings. This time, much deeper into my health journey, I was full most of the time and really didn’t have any cravings at all!
What is it?
3 day refresh is a like a little digestive break, detox kick for your body
3 days of nutrition guidance along with restricted calories and specific fiber and protein shakes throughout the day
What it is not
A permanent weight loss solution
A total gut healing package
Quick fix
When should I do it?
Before or after a vacation
When you need a boost to your metabolism
When you just feel stuck
When you need to get a good dose of fiber
When you feel like your digestion needs a break
If you want to ease your way into a 24 hour fast
Now, just to be clear, I don’t normally encourage extreme calorie reduction or portion control as part of a long term maintenance success plan. But for a focused 3 day thing, I view it as a modified fasting program and because it is so short, as long as you get back to real life by using real food afterwards without extreme deprivation and restriction…your’e good to go :)
Your day consists of 3 protein shakes, 2-3 servings of veggies,
2 servings of fruit, and some healthy fats.
Some people experience pretty significant weight loss, but that should not be the goal of this 3 days because most of that is not a maintainable weight loss. If your goal is to focus on veggies, increase your protein and fiber intake, help your poo and digestion improve and get your mind re-focused on healthy eating, then this 3 day refresh is a great idea!!!
If you are looking for a magic pill or sick fix then, well, the isn’t it.
My personal approach
A few modifications I made for my 3 days:
I could have coffee if I wanted (black or with a tiny splash of almond milk
I eye-balled the veggie and fruit portions
I didn’t organize all the meals/servings in the exact order they came on the plan. For example if I wasn’t hungry I’d save my lunch veggie and add it to my dinner veggie for more servings
I didn’t do raw veggies which you are supposed to use for lunch since my immune system was recovering from cheno
You can use this however YOU want and modify it as needed! It all depend on your personal goals.
Have any questions? Let me know! :)
Countertime beauty regimen!
THE NEW COUNTERTIME REGIMEN SET IS HERE!!!
I recently shared why safer skincare is important to me and why I love Beautycounter and have enjoyed many of their skincare products the past few years…I you’d like to see that post click here.
Beautycounter's new innovative anti-aging line that is a safe alternative to retinol has quickly become a best seller and I have been looking forward to tryin it since I think cancer treatments have taken a toll on my skin (hello aging!)!
Countertime was 3 years in the making and was developed to visibly reverse the signs of aging and deliver high performance results thanks to the innovative Retinatural Complex ( a safer alternative to retinol!!)
The Countertime Regimen Set is a 10 week supply of five products from the Countertime Collection. This set has been getting rave reviews including hoping with even skin tone, hydration and glowing skin!
Check out some of the Five Star Reviews it already has!!
✭✭✭✭✭ Amazing, immediate result
Wow there are no words to describe the fast results of my improved skin. It was visible after only 3 uses of the Countertime regimen. Cannot say enough good things!!! – Jenni L.
✭✭✭✭✭ One week!
In just one week, my skin is firmer, smoother and brighter! I can’t wait to see what it looks like in a month! - Margaret P.
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I have never seen results like I have with this line. I have noticeably brighter, hydrated, glowing, skin. I have seen diminished fine lines and wrinkles in just 7 days. My husband has even noticed! Truly amazing! - Ashley R.
The Countertime Regimen includes five products to be used concurrently. The products included are sized to last approximately ten weeks. Here's what you will get:
Lipid Defense Cleansing Oil: Cleansing, reimagined. Inspired by Asian beauty rituals and informed by Japanese technology, this luxurious, lightweight cleansing oil gently yet effectively removes makeup and other impurities without stripping essential lipids from the skin. Rich in vitamin E, fatty acids, and our plant-derived Retinatural Complex, the formula reinforces the skin’s fragile moisture barrier for a soothed, nourished complexion. The smell of this is so light and beautiful! It leaves your skin so hydrated unlike many cleansers that can leave you tight and dry!!
Mineral Boost Hydrating Essence: Vital nutrients energize the skin. Lightweight but deeply nourishing, this milky moisturizing essence lends vital nutrients to the skin’s moisture barrier—instantly boosting hydration and radiance. Formulated with our Retinatural Complex, mineral-rich sea water, and a fermented blend of sugars, it renews and balances the skin and preps it for the treatment steps that follow.
Tripeptide Radiance Serum: True radiance, revealed. This transformative rejuvenating treatment visibly increases skin firmness and elasticity, while reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Formulated with a powerful blend of peptides, amino acids, and our Retinatural Complex, it helps enhance the skin’s moisture barrier function to optimize hydration for a radiant complexion.
Anti-oxidant Soft Cream: Protective, skin-plumping moisture. Formulated with our plant-derived Retinatural Complex and nasturtium flower extract, this velvety, revitalizing cream works to visibly plump and firm the skin while boosting hydration. Skin is left healthy and glowing. This can be used as a day cream or a lighter night cream depending on your skin's needs.
Tetrapeptide Supreme Cream: Powerful, regenerative hydration. Supremely rich and deeply hydrating, this cream supports elasticity and visibly firms while smoothing skin texture to minimize the look of fine lines and wrinkles. With continued use, wake up to more radiant, youthful-looking skin. This can be used as a heavier day cream and night cream for very dry skin. It is so thick and hydrating!
Regimen Price: $267 US / $357 CAD (Value: $297 US / $399 CAD) I think a few items and maybe all will last longer than 10 weeks!!
The Regimen does NOT include an eye cream. ( But the Countertime Collection DOES).
Ultra Renewal Eye Cream: Your brightest eyes, reawakened. This high-performance eye cream revitalizes the eye area for a youthful, brighter appearance. With a targeted combination of our plant-derived Retinatural Complex and Persian silk tree extract, it reduces under-eye shadows and crow’s feet for a smooth, firmed look. LOVE this stuff!!
Countertime Collection: includes all six full size products at a 10% discount. The difference between the Regimen and the Collection is that the Collection includes the Eye Cream and the Soft Cream and Supreme Cream are 50ml jars versus 30ml found in the Regimen. The Cleaning Oil, Essence and Serum are the same size in both. I highly recommend the regimen or the collection! Each product has the Retinatural Complex, but also has a hero ingredient of it's own.
Collection Price: $382 US / $512 CAD (Value: $424 US / $571 CAD)
Please keep in mind that there is a 60 day return policy for a full refund, so there's no risk in trying these AMAZING products! I am certain you will love them!! Scroll down to see how you can get even more gifts and discounts!
THE TRUTH ABOUT RETINOL
IS IT SAFE? A lot of beauty brands tout retinol as a safer skin-care ingredient. But Beautycounter is more strict (in fact, Retinol is on our Never List). For us, it’s not worth taking a risk on retinol. Studies show that retinoic acid can have harmful side effects, including being a skin irritant and making the skin sensitive to the sun’s damaging rays. In fact, both the EU and Canada have restricted the use of retinol—the EU cites a “precautionary principle,” which means that if an ingredient has shown evidence of danger to human health or the environment, it takes preventative action (and so should you).
That’s why BC created this plant derived Retinatural Complex, a safer alternative—and the powerhouse ingredient—in our Countertime Collection.
PLANT-DERIVED RETINATURAL COMPLEX:
BAKUCHIOL - Traditionally used in Chinese and Ayurvedic skin-care remedies, Bakuchiol delivers many of retinol’s skin benefits—without irritation.
SWISS ALPINE ROSE - Grown at the highest altitudes of the Alps, this flower is known for its ability to protect itself against environmental stressors like dehydration and helps boost skin’s antioxidant defense.
“Beautycounter’s plant-derived Retinatural Complex, featuring bakuchiol and Swiss Alpine rose, delivers retinol-like results without retinol’s safety concerns. Why? Because beauty should be good for you.” - Gamze Sauzeat, Lead Chemist
HOW RETINATURAL COMPLEX WORKS
It Promotes Healthy Barrier Function. Our skin’s moisture barrier prevents excess water loss and helps protect skin from the environment—and as we age, it becomes depleted. Retinatural Complex helps improve barrier function to maintain the skin’s natural hydration levels (and keep that plumpness going strong).
It Visibly Plumps And Firms Skin. Collagen is the skin’s most vital protein and the cushion that keeps it supple, taut, and wrinkle-free. It’s found in the middle layer of the skin, and its production begins to slow by the time we reach 30. Luckily, it’s possible to visibly improve skin firmness and plumpness. Enter Retinatural Complex.
It Improves Resilience. With age, the skin’s ability to protect itself from oxidative stress is compromised, which damages cells, speeds up the appearance of aging, and leaves skin looking dull and sallow. The targeted ingredients in our Retinatural complex help protect skin and improve radiance.
COUNTERTIME IN THE PRESS
Fast Company: Your antiaging regimen might be toxic. This brand found a safe alternative
WWD: "Better with Age" - Beautycounter to Debut Anti-aging Skincare Line, Countertime. Our new Countertime collection was just featured in Women’s Wear Daily!!!!
The Zoe Report: Beautycounter's New Countertime Line Features The Retinol Alternative You're Starting To See Everywhere
NOT A BAND OF BEAUTY MEMBER YET?
Join today for $29 for the entire year, no auto-renewal or strings attached. It's just our way of saying thank you to our most loyal clients!
If you plan to spend $100 or more today, this is a must! You will receive a FREE Charcoal Cleansing Bar ($26 value and great for your the teens and men in your life), 10% back in product credit and FREE shipping!! Purchase the Countertime Regimen today and receive $26.70 back in credit to put towards the eye cream!!
Choosing safer doesn’t mean rubbing mud on your face or suffering with sub par skincare! Please let me know if you have any questions.
To your health!
Supplements I used during chemo
Hello friends!
Many of you have been interested in my use of an integrative approach to treatment during my 3 months of chemotherapy. I chose to follow the conventional method for 3 main reasons:
I wanted to stay home close to my family alternative care centers are based throughout the country and the world but would require me to live there for periods of time)
My specific cancer has an extremely high success rate when treated with chemo. This is not the case for all cancers. Even my holistic minded, naturopathic and functional medicine friends pointed me in this direction for this case.
I had already done SO much with supplementation and lifestyle, my goal was to eliminate the burden of the tumor in my body so that I could continue with my healthy lifestyle allowing it to remain in remission.
That being said, I took a very integrative approach to treatment and we spent over $20K out of pocket to incorporate things like a detox specialist (using after treatment) an emotional code therapist (to dig deeper to any emotional blocks or issues I needed to release that may be hindering my healing, hiring an integrative oncologist/naturopath to guide me through supplementation to counteract any side effects from the chemo and protect my body through the process keeping it as strong as possible, and Vitamin C IVs on the off weeks to help me recover, but also to act as an assist to the chemo itself.
That’s a pretty hefty price tag but one we were willing to pay. Choosing conventional treatment was something Patrick and I both had peace about, but living with long term side effects like heart damage, lung problems, or peripheral neuropathy was NOT something I wanted to deal with later. In my view, choosing to pay quite a bit up front to support my body through this journey is in replacement of paying for long term medical care the rest of my life.
One of the most effective and affordable portions of my investment were the supplements and many have asked what used! I wanted to share them below but first I must say that I don’t recommend just reading a book and incorporating supplements, or guessing at what your body needs. I know quite a bit about supplementation and my body but I hired a specialist to guide me through the process and the tweaks and adjustment she helped me make were invaluable the past 3 months. If you would like to hire the same woman I used you can visit her website at www.drheatherpaulson.com
So let’s get to it! Below are al the supplements I was taking by the end of my treatment and that I will remain taking for the next few months.
Most were recommended by my naturopath, some were from personal preference, some were added as we went along and some I was horrible at taking.
Acetyl L Carnitine - For protecting my heart, lungs, kidneys and possibly helping fatigue
L- glutamine - to maintain muscle mass, heal my gut and epithelial lining, prevent mouth sores, and protect against neuropathy
Vitamin E - immune system support
Vitamin D - immune system support
CoQ10 - protect the heart and mitochondrial support
Beef liver - provides B vitamins, Fit A, selenium, and I always feel better on it. In fact, I didn’t take this the first part of my treatments and I’m fairly certain my hair stopped falling out in conjunction with when I brought it back in to my daily regimen
Marrow plus - added in once my WBC began dropping after treatments.
Amy Myers Multivitamin - this was just a multi I really love and was already taking - I ran out and didn’t refill it towards the end just because I was taking so many other things
Vitamin C - immune system support
Complete B-Complex - B vitamins are very helpful with energy and preventing neuropathy. Always look for a high quality b complex that uses folate or L methyfolate and not folic acid
Alphs Lipoic Acid - protects against neuropathy
B-6 (pyridoxal 5 phosphate) - assist with nausea
Biocidin - this is an herbal antibiotic and I didn’t take this at first, but after getting an infection, spending an night in the hospital, and having to be on a ROUGH and strong antibiotic for 10 days, I immediately added this back in when that was over and never had any more problems. It’s the safest, most gentle and still most effecti antibiotic alternative I know of.
Fish oil - for inflammation and cell health. I was horrible at takin this but intend to be much more religious about it during recovery
Curcumin - anti-inflammatory - again I was horrible with taking this just on top of everything else!
And there you have it! This ended up being a VERY large handful of supplements at breakfast with a few second doses later in the day when I could remember and or make my self do it. It was quite a bit. But I will say, I think it helped me tremendously :)
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Healthy Through Hodgkins!
God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.
We hear this phrase often, but do we really believe it? Over the past 7 months, it would be easy for me to become depressed, discouraged, angry, frustrated and so much more. I mean, who dedicates their life to getting healthy and helping others stay healthy and then gets cancer? Doesn’t seem fair does it…
But because of my faith, I knew from the start that:
There was a plan
Whether I enjoyed the process or not, there was a purpose and
I would come out strong in the end andlearn some yet unknown lessons that needed to be learned
And sure enough, here I am, at the end of this journey (and the beginning of a new one) having fulfilled each of those things.
Plan
Not surprisingly, from day 1, I saw that God had been planning this journey for several years.
I discovered my tumor had been there for 2 years
I discovered later that cancer develops (like autoimmune diseases, another form of immune system dysregulation) over 7-10 years
I knew that had I not gotten sick in 2015, I wouldn’t have become an FDN
Had I not become and FDN, I wouldn’t have gotten to deep into healing, and already put in several years of work
Had I not put in the work, this journey may have been much more difficult for me
Had I not become an FDN and really invested in myself and my business I wouldn’t have gone to Mindshare (a networking summit with some of the top functional medicine docs around the country)
Had I not gone to Mindshare, I wouldn’t have had access to any of the experts I used to guide me through this process (detox expert, emotional healing expert, integrative naturopath specializing in cancer)
Had I not had access to these people I may have experiences loads more symptoms and not recovered as quickly in between treatments. I am walking away with no long term effects on my heart, lungs, or nerves and during the process I never experienced severe constipation, or pain of any kind. The most regular symptoms for me were fatigue, nausea and some acid reflux/discomfort from the epithelial lining being so raw from this process. I didn’t even lose all my hair ( I really think it stopped when I started taking beef liver again!) I had some many people praying for me across the country - I know that God protected me in many ways throughout this process.
So…..You see…..from the beginning I knew there was a plan. God knew that this was part of my journey and he set me up to navigate it as successfully as I possibly could. He blinded my eyes to the tumor ( which I could see in pictures stating 2 years prior) until it was the right time and I knew the right people.
But for whatever reason….this was still something He wanted me to experience.
Purpose
I knew there was some purpose to this. Maybe it was to solidify my stance that there is benefit to both conventional and natural medicines….maybe it was to strengthen my faith….maybe it was to help me empathize with clients and understand the body better….
Whatever the reason, I knew there was a purpose. And while I have learned MANY lessons, and had many A HA! moments, I may learn the ultimate purpose much later….or never at all….
Discovery
The first 3 months were the hardest. My body was shocked with this new treatment, I didn’t know what to expect, and anytime my white blood cells tanked it scared me. Everything was so new. The second treatment was the hardest as I ended up with an infection and an overnight hospital stay. This effectively eliminated my recovery period between treatments and so I wasn’t as strong going into the 3rd. But then around this time, I decided I really needed to continue living my life. I couldn’t just STOP living and so as I felt well, I did things that made me happy like singing and being around people again.
And throughout this last half of treatment I had revelation upon revelation about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of life I want to live, how I want to relate to other people and even how I want to run my business.
This isn’t to diminish the pain, fear, and uncertainty of this process. It’s not fun, and treatment weekends are the worst. Over the next 3 days I’ll spend most of my time in bed, popping nausea pills, sleeping, and forcing myself to drink water that to me tastes disgusting just to avoid dehydration which makes EVERYTHING worse.
But I simply don’t know how I would have navigated this without my faith. Without knowing that God had a plan, I wouldn’t have been looking for it. Without assuming there was a purpose, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my mentality positive and hopeful. Without knowing that there were lessons to be learned, I wouldn’t have be open to receiving all the downloads I was being divinely sent.
This was something I was meant to go through. I’m thankful that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I praise God for knowing what I needed, and I can’t wait to implement my new life goals. Some of the best things in life come from the most painful experiences. I hope I never have to go through this again, but the battle was worth the win.
Toxin Free Skin Care and...why I care about it!
Hey hey Diva friends!!!
Over the past 7 years my health has been a series of small steps in the right direction slowly adding up over time. My first big change was my diet….after that I eventually gave up wall plug ins and most of my plastic containers. I slowly began switching my soaps and household items to become a more toxin free environment….
When I got diagnosed with Hodgkins and began reading up on it I realized that it’s particularly effected by environmental toxins (but to be honest….aren’t all cancers?? HELLO immune disruption!!)
So now more than ever it’s important to me that I make as many positive choices regarding my surroundings as possible. The way I see it, we have ultimate control over 3 things:
What comes into our homes
What goes into our mouths
What goes on on our bodies
Skin care falls within that third category and I thought today I would share with you what brand I’m loving! Skin care and makeup were frontiers I held out on for awhile because let’s face it….it’s TOUGH to find a product that claims to be toxin free that 1) actually IS, and 2) still performs at a high level!!!
Why should we care about toxins and chemicals? Doesn’t the FDA keep us safe?
We care because what goes onto your skin gets into your blood stream within less than a minute. (Think nicotine patches, essential oils, and birth control patches as examples of how potent substances can get inside our bodies this way)…
No the FDA does not keep us safe. Now just to clarifiy, I firmly believe the answer to this is education and personal responsibility, not more government involvement. But to explain the problem, there are only a few chemicals deemed toxic enough by the FDA that companies are not allowed to put them into skincare products… but there are many many more that are allowed to be included that have been shown to disrupt hormones, stress the liver and act as carcingens! This is why I love third party advocates like the environmental working group to help me stay safe, and why I think its more critical than ever to be an informed consumer!
It’s all about toxic load. No-one can ever be perfect. If you want to live your life on the grid so to speak, it will be very difficult to eliminate every toxin ever. And that’s ok. Because our skin, liver, kidneys and lymph systems are designed to process, break down and flush toxins out!!! But it’s all about toxic load. When we live in a world surrounded by smokers, prescription pills, antibiotics, glyphosate sprayed crops, fluoride and chlorine in our water supply, hormone disrupters in our perfumes, wall plug ins and well….you get the pictureControl what we can, so that our body can do its job.
So where I suggest we put our time (besides awareness and education) is in our food supply and what items we choose to bring in our homes or put on our body (skin!)
So I’m really excited to share some of my favorite products with you!!! After using these for at least a year, I can securely tell you that I LOVE Beautycounter skincare. Specifically, I love the countermatch face milk and moisturizer!
Why do I love this particular skincare? Glad you asked!
1) Truly toxin free.
Many products on the shelf have flashy marketing, catchy words like “all natural” and pretty green and white packaging to make you think that they are really toxin free, organic, and safe for you. And I’m not going to lie, I do’t have time to look up every scientific word on the back of a bottle to see if it’s actually from a natural source or if it’s man made. It gets confusing!! So I trust EWG.org to help me check the products that I use and their safety levels. Ideally you want everything to be a 1 (least toxic) but realistically, most things between 1-3 should be ok for regular use!
The Beautycounter Countermach face milk and moisturizer both come in with a stellar rating of 1!!
2) This particular face wash and lotion is very gently and adaptive for most skin types whether you have dry skin or oily. You can read more about that here. It gently removes makeup and leaves your face feeling fresh and soft! The moisturizer smells of almond extract which I absolutely love.
Two other additions I can’t live without:
Beautycounter eye makeup remover: All I have to say is: have you tried Mary Kay eye makeup remover?? I know - it’s UH MAYZING. And I never thought I could get away from it (having tried the less that awesome over the counter brands)…until Beautycounter!
Cleansing face wipes: If you travel these are a MUST!!! I’ve tried to take the eye makeup remover with me and no matter high highly I screw the cap on, it leaks in my suitcase leaving a hard to clean up oil residue (just ask my hubby!). These cleansing cloths not only travel well, but you can really cut them into quarters if you’d like because they are so big!
And there you have it’ my daily, basic, skincare routine
Countermatch adaptive moisturizer
and either: Beautycounter eye makeup remover or Cleansing wipes
You really don’t need much more than that ( in skincare) when you’re drinking lots of water, eating healthy fats, getting sunshine and living a healthy life! Have you tried countermatch? I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
p.s. no company gets everything right 100% of the time, but Beautycounter is on a mission to make their products as safe as possible. I always recommend double checking each product individually to make sure you feel comofrotable using it!
p.p.s. The links in this post are direct links to purchase through me! I use the products so much and believe in their mission, so I signed up myself! I hope you enjoy the products as much as I do.
10 ways to combat nausea during chemotherapy
Hey Hey Diva friends!!
Between chemo, antibiotics, and changes in my diet this process has been a nightmare for someone always focused on gut health and supporting my microbiome!!!
BUT I chose this path and know that it’s only temporary. I also know that I have all the tools to build my gut back up once I get through this….so meanwhile, I’m left with managing symptoms and by far, the biggest struggle for me has been nausea. Between myself, my doctor and my naturopath, I’ve discovered some tips that may help YOU or someone you love when experiencing this. Feel free to share it with a friend!
Something to understand about nausea is that everyone’s body, treatment and personal experience is different and some nausea is stronger than others. You may or may not actually feel like throwing up, you might just feel “off”. So this list ranges from homeopathic to prescription remedies, and from things to smell to things to ingest. Where I would normally advocate getting to the root cause of nausea so you don’t have to live on a prescription, when undergoing chemotherapy the treatment itself may BE the cause, and it’s certainly not something to mess around with.
In Chinese medicine they talk about yin and yang, hot and cold and that’s another great way of thinking about this as well. Some days you may have excess heat and so a “cold” remedy like peppermint may help but other days you may have excess cold and a “hot” remedy like ginger may sound better to you.
Listen to your body and when reading this list, some things may sound more appealing than others. Go with your gut!
Ginger Zevia. This is basically chemical and sugar free ginger ale! When you’re drinking something to combat nausea you want to make sure you’re not also drinking a bajillion calories, or other harmful chemicals that stress your body. This is a great option for mild to medium level nausea, but I would be careful if you have a lot of digestive complaints, acid reflux, or stomach pains as well because carbonation can be irritating in those cases. You can usually find this at your local grocery store and if they don’t carry it your local heath foods store.
Ginger Tea. This would be a warm, non-carbonated way to get some tummy settling ginger and an easy way to get some beneficial honey in as well! To me, warm drinks did NOT sound appealing, but if it sounds good to you this is a great option.
Peppermint Tea. Peppermint, along with ginger, has been used for centuries to combat nausea! Lesser known than ginger it can be just as effective.
Peppermint essential oil. I personally really liked this option. You can take a whiff of the bottle and keep it with you, use a diffuser in your room, or carry a hand diffuser with you like this one.
Peppermint gum or hard candies.
Preggie Pops. I haven’t personally tried these, but I heard that they are really helpful. My naturopath explained that nausea induced by chemotherapy hits the same parts of our brain as pregnancy nausea. These pops include helpful essential oils and if you are also experiencing funny tastes in your mouth from the treatment this may be a helpful option to distract your brain.
Gluten Free toast. I can never recommend regular bread ( do you even know me?!) but sometimes toast really does seem to help. I personally like the brand Eban’s Bakehouse and would add some grass-fed butter and honey on top! I liked using this honey for the added benefits of the bee pollen, propolis, and royal jelly!
Prescription nausea meds. To me, these are something to use as needed. By that I mean, I am more likely to use these the first 48 hours after chemo and when nausea is persistent or stronger. These come with their own side effects like constipation, headaches or fatigue, so I like to minimize my usage and incorporate as many other options as I can when they work.
Medical cannabis. No, I am not advocating that you go buy a joint off the street. It's critical to do this legally and keep your doctor informed! Some people find that this is by far the most effective nausea remedy they can use. I did find that it helps, but I also don’t love it. There are ways to vape it or get a tincture and since vaping really feels like smoking and well…YUCK, I prefer to use the tincture. Vaping can hit your system a bit faster, but the tincture works pretty quickly as well and has the added benefit of being able to titrate up 1 drop at a time until you find what dose works well for you.
Increase your protein. I know it can be hard the days immediately surrounding treatment because if you’re anything like me, my diet is anything but normal during that time (hello homemade jello, dairy free ice cream pops and gluten free toast 10x a day!). But as soon as you are able to get back to “regular” foods and meals, try to increase your protein. If eating a steak doesn’t sound good to you, simply adding a scoop of protein to your daily protein shake can be helpful too.
Overall, listen to your body!! It knows what it needs and does a pretty good job of communicating. So if you are craving a certain kind of food, go with it! At least during the really tough days. You can use the rest of the days to fill your meals up with nourishing fruits, veggies and gut healing foods!
I hope this was helpful - do you know someone struggling with their chemo treatment?
Feel free to share this post! Know of additional remedies? Please drop them below!
3 lessons cancer has taught me
Hey Hey Diva friends, it’s another beautiful day….
So much has been going on since my diagnosis Feb 8th and while I’m not done with my treatments yet, I’ve already learned so many things about myself, my life, my purpose, appreciation for what I have and more! So today I thought I would share a few of these thoughts with you.
1) Appreciate all you have
As soon as anything is taken from you you appreciate it more. Kids know this right? They don’t necessarily want to play with the toy, but they don’t want anyone ELSE playing with it either!
I have an AMAZING life. We have plenty of money, a nice house, a beautiful family, the sweetest dog, careers that we believe in, great and reliable cars, and super amazing friends and family. Sounds like the dream right?
But just like everyone else, before cancer I picked myself apart. I was definitely HAPPY and quite appreciative of my life, but for me specifically my insecurity and stress points were my body and my work. I loved my work, but I also put a ton of pressure on myself. I loved my body but…..did I really? I was CONSTANTLY tearing it apart and wanting to be stronger, thinner, prettier…..perfect.
And then cancer came a long. And she took my control. She took my strength. She took my hair. She took my comfort.
After the diagnosis I knew what was coming and the months leading up to treatment there were many times I stood in front of the mirror as I got ready in the morning and simply appreciated what I knew would be taken away.
Suddenly, my hair was GORGEOUS on it’s worst day - my body was perfect just the way it was. I was appreciative for everything I could do….and I learned that we shouldn't wait until something dramatic and scary happens in our lives to really truly appreciate everything we have. And here’s the real kicker, it’s not just about appreciating everything we have but being CONTENT with it.
I was alway happy, positive, and thankful….but was a I content?
2) Let people help you
This one can be harder for some than others, but I think it’s hard for everyone at some level. We all want to be independent. Asking for help is never easy, and saying “yes” when you think you don’t need the help can be difficult.
“Hey Kylene, I’d like to support you - can I bring you lunch on Tuesday?” Part of me wants to say “no need, I can handle it but thanks!” because I don’t want to have anyone go out of their way to sere me.
But the other part of me realizes that not only would that be helpful and take something off my plate, but people WANT to contribute. They WANT to participate and help in any way they can. I would only offer to someone what I hoped they would accept.
Sometimes that means someone mails you a card or a gift. Sometimes that means people pray. Sometimes people make you food or buy some and drop it off…..
If someone has indicated that they want to support you in whatever way is comfortable for them just say yes.
I have been surrounded by kindness the past few months and it’s really made me think….would I do this for someone else? Would I go out of my way to help them somehow??? Which brings me to my next lesson…
3) Be that person
When I was going through my divorce, I learned very quickly how NOT to behave to anyone going through divorce. I was judged, mistreated and abandoned by many. I saw exactly what NOT to do and learned how to love others better by NOT being loved myself.
Through this cancer journey I’ve seen the opposite - people coming out of the woodwork to pray for and support me. People that don’t even know me have me on prayer lists and send me things like project chemo crochet blankets. People that don’t. even. know. me.
So I want to BE THAT PERSON. You know, the person that was the surprise. The person that goes out of my way to think of and pray for others. The person that hears of a need and tries to assist. The person that always encourages help out.
My divorce really shaped me in a positive way and I’ve held onto those changes in my mindset since. I know that this cancer journey will be another major shift in my worldview and thinking and I can’t wait to get to the other side :)
22 ways you can support a cancer patient today
Hey hey Diva friends!!
Today I’m sharing 20 ways you can support a cancer patient today! I have been SOOOOOOO surrounded by love and support and kindness the past few months and some of the things people have done have really surprised me and been totally awesome! I wanted to share in case you know of anyone that could benefit too!
Send a cancer empathy card. For the friend who enjoys laughter, sarcasm, and reality
Set up a meal train. Be sure to ask them what dates would be most helpful and what foods they don’t like or have sensitivities to. You can use a service like takethemameal.com to make it easy to share it with friends, family and church groups that might be willing to fill it up!
Pray for them
Send them a Whole Foods gift card!
Send them an encouraging note. I just received a package from my sister and brother in law’s church with 10 cards - 1 to open for 10 days - each with encouraging notes!
Gift them a hand held oil diffuser for hospital visits or at home nausea
Mix an anti-nausea oils or an oil blend to sniff at the hospital or use at home
Send a project chemo blanket from www.projectchemocrochet.com
Send some fresh flowers or succulents to brighten their home
Text them ,“How are you feeling today?”
Gift them a notebook with encouraging comments and verses like this one to write down their experiences and keep track of doctors, visits and symptoms.
Mail them a book you think they may enjoy
Recommend some great Netflix shows/movies
Let them know you’re there if they need anything
Leave an encouraging voicemail or text
Send them a Visa or grocery gift card
Ask if they would like to go on walks with you
Ask about their treatment schedule and be proactive about scheduling activities or get togethers on days they think they will feel their best so they have things to look forward to
Sit with them during their chemo infusions
Pre-pay for a massage or meal delivery (if they would like that).
Send them an encouraging bookmark
Create a gift basket of fun things appropriate to their experience, likes, and needs!
And there you have it! 22 ways you can support a cancer patient today. Every single one of these (except for Netflix - I was all over that myself haha) were kind things that people did for me! I was blown away how much people cared, and how every single thing on this list meant a great deal whether it was a free gift or a costly one, and whether it was from someone I knew or a total stranger.
Have you been through chemotherapy or know someone who has? What other ideas could you add to this list? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below!
Asking "why me?" and experiencing unconditional love...
2 days ago, I went to the ER. I had been in bed almost the entire afternoon and while experiencing severe abdominal pains I had thrown up. After that the pain became more manageable….if I laid in bed and didn’t really move :)
My husband, who as usual, was being saintly and had gone to help a nearby city with tornado relief work, came home late afternoon, took my temperature and called the on call oncologist after the temp read 101.5. The doc said to take me to the ER and that started our super fun 20 hours in the hospital.
You can see a short summary of what went down while we were there here:
Throughout this cancer journey I’ve had a lot of wonderings. Just like anyone might, I’ve wondered why (or how) this could possibly be happening to me. I completely changed my nutrition in 2012 - I completely changed my whole lifestyle to focus on health and wellness after 2016. I worked on healing my gut and balancing my hormones (really effectively) since 2017….. I saw drastic improvements in many facets of my life and I’ve helped dozens of clients heal their bodies as well…..and then I got diagnosed with cancer. What the heck?
Firstly, I’m not going to answer that question, because I can’t. Secondly, after a lot of thought (and finding pictures from 2 years ago of my single tumor that has never spread) I didn’t feel like all the work I’d put in was useless. I know that I did what I could when I could with what I knew at the time and that it surely strengthened my body.
Even so…some people WAY less healthy go through chemo and still work full time, function as parents and live seemingly normal lives while others (like me) get knocked out, sleep a lot, and get side effects or complications….
With my history and dedication to health building and disease prevention for the past 3-5 years, I was convinced I would be the patient with no complications and the fewest side effects….I was going to breeze through this cancer thing with 6 treatment in 3 months and then say goodbye to it forever!
But then my port suture wanted to get infected and I had to go on an antibiotic….then this past weekend happened and I had to be admitted to the hospital…..
And all these questions of:
“Why can’t my body handle this? I went in so strong!”
“This is really taking a toll on me, did I make the right decision choosing conventional medicine for this treatment?”
“I have to be on another antibiotic, what will people think about that when I usually avoid them like the plague? How do I feel about it?”
…come in.
In addition to the complications, there is the regular and expected trauma of my hair falling out more and more every day… so what was once a semi- passable GI-JANE look is now an uneven, scraggle of fuzz that is embarrassing to leave uncovered. #hellobaseballcaps
“Why me? Why this reaction? Why now?”
I have no idea. But I don’t dwell too much on those questions. Because the answer doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter WHY God chose me, it just matters that He did. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand it right now, it just matters that I will. It doesn’t matter that I’m not sure what I’m learning, it just matters that I will learn from this.
Last night, after spending the previous evening in hospital beds and being woken up every hour almost on the dot for blood draws, shots, IVs etc….Patrick and I were exhausted. Happily at home, in our own beds, and after several hours of napping for each of us, we spontaneously started cuddling and kissing and it felt super magical and connected….until I remembered what I was going through, what was happening to my body, and what I currently look like. I started crying and tear up even as I write this. Because I realized that Patrick was loving me and behaving towards me as if nothing had changed. As if I was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him and that it made no difference if I have hair or not. It was so overwhelming to be so vulnerable in that moment and just accept that he really does love me no matter what.
A lot of people talk more about their faith than I do. A lot of people pray more, do devotions more frequently or use spiritual language more. So a lot of times I feel “less spiritual than” when I don’t sprinkle God into every video or post I make ….but all I can tell you is this. My faith is a deep and intricate part of my very being and whenever I share it I want it to be completely sincere. Whether I pray about every decision prior to making it or not, I make the decisions I do based on what I believe. My Christian belief system completely affects the glasses I see the world through and how I react to situations mentally and emotionally every single day. It affects how I treat people, how I verbally respond when I’m frustrated about something, and how I think about these “why me’s”.
I don’t often get that “warm fuzzy” feeling or any sort of spiritual “woosh” when I pray or go to church. And here’s the thing. The way Patrick loves me, as overwhelming as it felt last night, is how God loves me (and you) every single day. He doesn’t care if you’re overweight, bald, sick, impatient, or flat out ugly inside or out. He loves you unconditionally and honestly, he doesn’t expect a single thing back from you except a desire to be in a relationship with Him.
While I was crying last night and Patrick was holding me tightly in his arms, I said “I feel like you love me so much and I don’t do enough for you in return.” And he just replied “You make me happy and that’s enough.”
WOAH. Can’t get more Jesus-y than that. All God wants from us is to be in a relationship with Him. That makes Him happy and that’s enough.
Now the real question isn’t why me, or why now….it’s….WOW. Can I accept this? I don’t FEEL worthy….but he says I am. So I can wallow in this sense of self doubt and worthlessness….or I can simply accept the love I’m given. No strings attached.
Skipping the menopause shot
Hi friends!
Today I made a really hard decision. So hard in fact, I had a solid hour of crying back and forth while I was trying to make the choice.
What was such a big deal? Well, I was trying to decide if I wanted to get the hormone shot that puts me into menopause during chemotherapy. Ultimately, I chose not to and here’s why:
There are 2 main reasons to get the shot in the first place. 1) To potentially have a positive impact on your blood count by not having your cycle during chemotherapy and 2) to maybe offer some protection to your ovaries by shutting them down and therefore assuming they won’t suck up as much chemotherapy thereby protecting their functioning in the future.
That being said, I kept feeling this nagging “no” when I thought about getting the shot.
First, after my horrible experience with egg retrieval, I really wanted to give my body a break. The idea of getting another shot that messes with my hormones in a dramatic way did not resonate well with me.
Secondly, I still haven’t had my period since the fertility stuff. I was pumped full of so many hormones, that my uterine lining got really thick. I know my body, and I know my hormonal history. Before doing anything else manipulative to my hormones, I REALLY really want to shed that lining. The problem is, there is a window of time they really want to give the shot to you before chemo….my window is closing and I haven’t started my period yet.
Thirdly, ABVD doesn’t appear to be super damaging to your ovaries. Different chemotherapies have a lesser or stronger probability of damaging them and it doesn’t sound like ABVD is high risk in that area. Additionally, even if my ovaries ARE damaged I just harvest 21 mature eggs which is an insane amount of options should I choose to use the route later.
Fourthly, the Zoladex shot take a few weeks to sink in ( thus the reason they want that window) but chemotherapy will essentially put me into menopause anyway. After a few cycles the likelihood that I will skip my periods is high and I would rather just let my body do it’s thing and support it the best I can.
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And finally, some doctors recommend you wait 6 months after chemotherapy to have babies and some recommend up to FIVE YEARS. When I read that today I realized the likelihood of me wanting to actually get pregnant after this is low and I feel like I’ve really wasted pain and money going through this process. For those of you who are reading this thinking “oh you are so young, you have plenty of time!” technically, that is true. But my hubby is 15 years older than me and it’s a real consideration when I continue delaying the process by potentially YEARS.
I don’t know how I will feel when I’m done with all of this. Maybe I will be relieved that I have some fall back options and be happy that I went through the egg retrieval process. Maybe I will decide to finish the IVF process and have kids after all. Or maybe I will just be so thankful to be healthy again, and feel like I really want to give my body a break, enjoy my life with my family and get back to work…
All I know is this. I felt something in my gut telling me NO so strongly that I called to cancel today. I felt much better afterwards and that’s definitely something I need to hold on to throughout this process- my voice and intuition!
What about you? Have you or a friend chosen to do fertility treatments or lupron/zoladex shots before chemotherapy? Or did you choose to skip it altogether? What was your experience?
Josh Turner - "I serve a Savior" album review and personal commentary
Happy easter weekend!
This past week I’ve been laid up from my egg retrieval surgery and subsequent recovery (click the link below for all the gory details) which meant I was watching way more TV than I normally do.
I was pleasantly surprised when the Today show had a series called “Frontiers of Faith” this week where Savannah Guthrie went to Jerusalem, visited the Holy sites and shared her personal belief in Jesus Christ and what a meaningful experience it was for her. For a nationally syndicated news show in the politically correct environment that is our society, I was surprised with how much talk time they gave the Christian religion and talked about Jesus in association with Easter. (YAY!)
This morning they had Josh Turner, a gospel and country music singer who has experienced tremendous success including being the second youngest member inducted into the Grand Ole Opry under Carrie Underwood, sing a song from his new album “I serve a savior” which debuted at #1 on the country album charts!
It peaked my interest so I purchased the album on my phone and listened to the whole thing. The album is comprised of music spanning from old hymns over 100 years old, to Hank Williams, to a few originals without much decoration or deviation from the original arrangements at all. In fact, besides a few low notes showcasing his rich deep voice, and a little guitar rift in Amazing Grace the whole thing is…well…. pretty simple.
If you don’t already know, I’m a total Christian music snob…there, I said it. And I realize I offend people when I share my opinions on this but there is so much rich culture and talent in the church I really feel like there is zero reason to settle for “less than”. The church is where musicians, artists, actors, sculptors, teachers and authors should THRIVE in their creativity and artistic expression!
While I really appreciate some modern Christian pieces such as “In Christ Alone”, and “O happy Day”, I have had a difficult time worshiping in church using modern Christian music because so much of it lacks depth lyrically and our society has a propensity to make our worship band [try to] look like a rock band with lights, guitar rifts, solos of “ohhhhh” that don’t really mean anything or add to the musicality, and extreme repetition coining the term “7-11 songs” (7 words sung 11 times).
My question has always been…would you really go to heaven and sing like that? Would you close your eyes, scrunch up your face, and sing “ohhhhhh” in heaven to the one who created you? (I’m making sweeping generalizations here)…While that’s totally ok in the car, on stage or your bedroom, I truly feel that the worship time on Sunday morning needs to be held to a higher standard. After all - the full purpose of that time is to come into the presence of God with sincere and full hearts singing praise to the best of your ability. In a way that the congregation can also participate as well without distraction.
The “I serve a Savior” album speaks to the fact that there is an audience, and in fact quite a large one, that still appreciates going back to the basics and I’m fairly certain the Josh Turner audience isn’t mainly comprised of adults 65 and up if you know what I’m saying.
There are still young people that appreciate lyrics that speak of salvation and a personal relationship to God, instead of cross over lyrics that could just as easily be sung to your HS boyfriend. This album speaks to the simplicity of appreciating good musicality no matter what time period it was written and not having to modernize it with additional bridges and instrumentation. Most of the album is simply guitar and voice with some backup singers. To his credit, if you don’t already know most of the songs you may not even be able to pick out which ones are new compositions which to me says a lot.
So. If you’d like some good, hard core, Jesus worshipping music this weekend without any fluff or frills, I would highly recommend getting this album! Fair warning, if you hate bluegrass, twang, or country, it might not be your cup of tea :)
“Just like a blind man I wandered alone
Worries and fears I claimed for my own
Then like the blind man that God gave back his sight
Praise the Lord, I saw the light”
Hank Williams 1948
My [REAL] experience with fertility preservation
Hi all! It’s been a hot minute sine I’ve blogged but I realized recently that with all the changes in my life the past few months and all the physical ups and downs where I may or may not regularly feel capable of doing live videos, I felt like I needed to make a blogging comeback :)
Sharing my journey with you on social media is something I have chosen for several reasons. First and foremost, I sincerely hope that sharing my experience helps someone else that may be going through something similar in the future but also, it’s somewhat cathartic for me to document my journey and receive support from my awesome online community! So thank you!!!
Many of you already know that in February 2019 I was diagnosed with Stage 1A nodular sclerosis Hodgkins lymphoma. that means I have 1 small tumor in my neck. To hear more about my treatment choices and mental preparation you can listen to my recent podcast episode below
Why Fertility Preservation?
Since ABVD (the type of chemotherapy offered for Hodgkins patients) can damage not only your heart and your lugs, but also your ovaries, young women run the risk of going through treatment and coming out infertile. The risk is mild, especially since I am receiving only 1/2 the national standard of treatment since my cancer has NOT spread and I have no symptoms ( thank you Jesus!). But still, at my age, if I damaged my ovaries I wouldn’t have that much time to do anything about it.
When Patrick and I got together I was pretty firm on the , “I’ve never wanted to birth children, so I hope you’re ok with that” front. But after 7 years of soulmate-ness :D and 6 years of marriage, I was softening to the idea of having a mini us. In fact, we were beginning to discuss the reality of even “giving it a go” this year. Just before I got diagnosed….
So when we found out that treatment could ruin our chances, I chose to get fertility preservation treatment which is basically the first half of IVF where we stimulate my ovaries and then harvest and freeze my eggs for what I call my future maybe babies.
What was the process like?
Expensive, painful, and….dare I say it….not worth it? ouch. I know that a lot of women out there live and breathe for the possibility of having children, but I haven’t and honestly, had I known what all this would feel like BEFORE I signed up, I don’t know if I would have followed through. However, everyone’s body is different and many women have had better experiences that I….So what’s it like?
Week 1 and Week 2
The first 2 weeks were easy. In fact, as I took my estrogen tablets (not recommended outside of this supervised and intentional process btw) I felt pretty good! If you have followed my story, I generally have hormones on the low end of the range, so increasing my estrogen felt pretty good to me. The only side effect I experienced was mild nausea that usually went away with a piece of gluten free toast.
Week 3
Week 3 began the hormone shots - I used Gonal-F and Menopur which are luteinizing hormone and follicle stimulating hormone. Basically, the goal is to get your follicles as big as possible so that during the retrieval process you have harvested MATURE eggs that can then be used later. They will save all the eggs because they hope that as technology improves they may be able to mature the rest of the eggs some day as well.
ANYWAY!! normally, your body matures about ONE follicle and releases ONE egg/month during ovulation….my body was maturing 24 follicles, the largest of which were about .75-.8 inches!!!
As you can imagine, that meant that the ovaries began swelling. Even so, I wasn’t terribly uncomfortable during this phase. Every evening Patrick would give me two shots in my belly and sometimes they hurt and sometimes they didn’t, but it was never horrible and always went away fairly quickly.
During this week you also being the every other day blood draw and ultrasounds to monitor your your follicle growth and estrogen levels so they can adjust your doses as necessary.
Week 4
The beginning of this week or potentially the end of week 3 you start adjusting your shots. You begin taking a third shot that keeps your body from ovulating because HELLO, after 3 weeks of growing these follicles and thousands of dollars later, the last thing you want is to release all these suckers before harvest day!
Your ultrasounds and blood monitoring continue until they determine which day (out of a 3 day range) your harvest will be. Then, 36 hours prior to your surgery time, you take a “trigger” shot. My harvest time was 7:30am on a Friday morning so my trigger shot was 7:30pm Wednesday. The day in between, no shots!
Retrieval Day
Finally, it was retrieval day. I didn’t know what to expect and was a bit nervous. I had an oops the morning of surgery which almost threw the whole thing off. I drank water!!! I had only written down no FOOD from midnight on, but apparently it was no food OR water….this is because you can spit it up a bit when you are put under for the procedure…which, apparently I did a little. But since everything is time sensitive and I agreed to the risks we proceeded.
When I woke up, I was NOT happy. I was in so much PAIN!!!! Normally, you wake up from something like this you are all loopy, and happily hopped up on some legit pain meds….but no, I was hurting the moment I came to consciousness.
On the plus side, we retrieved 23 eggs, which as I’ve done my research, seems to be a HIGH amount. I’m sort of getting the impression that since I went through this process as a preservation thing and not since I was infertile to begin with, that I had a stronger “output” and my body participated more easily….
Unfortunately, I think because the output was so high, the pain was also….I mean think about this…I had 23-24 eggs growing and the smallest of the follicles may be around .5 inches… in ovaries that are NORMALLY the size of your thumb…..thats a lot of stretching! Then to have a hollow needle shoved up your hooha to retrieve them all….well, inflammation followed.
The recovery
Friday (April 12th) I was in excrutiating pain. The pain was transferring beyond my ovaries and into other parts of my body (called referred pain) like my back and I was convinced I was having kidney problems haha. Patrick ran to get the legit pain prescription and the first half of the day we were a bit behind the curve. I tried to take 2 and wait the full 4 hours, but then I ended up throwing up and in excruciating pain again before the next round sunk in and I fell back asleep. After that, I took smaller doses ( 1 tab instead of 2) but more frequently so that the pain medication stayed in my system. Once we figured that system out, I felt ok after about 2:30pm and the rest of the day was spent sleeping and watching Netflix.
I was told to expect a little bit of pain - like period pain the day of, and basically over the next 3 days start going back to normal. I think I had a stronger reaction than normal because day 1 was completely and utter misery. Day 2 and 3 were better only in the sense that the excruciating pain was gone and I didn’t have to live in bed.
Days 2-3 (Sat/Sun) there was extreme bloating all throughout my abdomen making it difficult to eat regular food ( am I hungry? and I not hungry? the pressure was messing everything up). In addition to the pressure and swelling in my abdomen, I had pain and aches all throughout my lower abdomen as well. Imagine wearing a belt of pain filled with rocks that shift around…that’s sort of what it felt like. Walking was doable, but also difficult. Getting up in to bed or folding forward in any way was uncomfortable. Going to the bathroom was a whole other story….squeezing your abdomen to urinate becomes an unpleasant experience and you will most likely become constipated because of all the hormones and pain medication so there’s an additional source of pressure and discomfort in the very area you don’t want it!
I would HIGHLY recommend getting ahead on water and a natural laxative like Senokot the day BEFORE surgery so you don’t get behind because those little things make a HUGE difference during recovery. Day 3 I even did a water enema in addition to the Senokot I had been using because I really needed that to be taken care of!!! Do this with caution however because you may still be highly inflamed and so monitor the amount of water you use….basically….don’t push it. Just use enough to get things flushed out and then maybe do it once or twice depending on how you are feeling.
Occasionally it’s also difficult to breath from all the swelling and pressure in your abdominal area so adjusting to take deep breathes and trying not to breath too far down into your diaphragm where all the inflammation is at, is a real consideration for a few days.
Day 4 - FINALLY I hit a turning points! I’m experience less bloating and the scale began to go down. I didn’t mention it earlier, but during the tail end of the hormone treatments and on through the egg retrieval process the scale began to creep up. It hit a high point a few days after the retrieval because of inflammation and water retention but for me, on day 4, it began to go back down…. yay! I’m hoping that means that the bloating, inflammation and the sale will continue to go down from here on out!
Today there is still bloating and a fanny pack of discomfort, but much more manageable than any of the days prior! I’m also back to eating normally since the past few days it was most gluten free bread or crackers bone broth, chocolate pudding etc… Yesterday (Sunday) we celebrated Keegans birthday and the birthday lunch was the most normal food/meal I had eaten all at once since the surgery.
Results
As I mentioned, they successfully retrieved 23 eggs but i’m unsure how many were mature. I believe that if I need to pursue the second half of this process in the future the worst is definitely behind me. Is it worth it? OY. Like I said, I don’t know. There’s nothing I can do about it now, but I certainly didn’t expect to be an invalid for 3-4 days post retrieval and experience the level of discomfort I have. Personally, it’s a little frustrating because I know that chemo will be it’s own process and may bring with it a whole new set of pain and side effects…so had I know this would be so painful - would I have chosen it? Not sure. But I did, and now we have a safety net which is a good thing.
I wanted to share this because when I was researching what to expect there aren't a lot of stories sharing the after care experience being as intense as it was for me. Perhaps I’m a special flower that just really experienced the max levels of pain and thats unusual, but if it’s NOT, and you choose to go this route, I want you to be fully prepared mentally!!! Because if this IS your dream, it’s only a few days and you can definitely do it :)
Top tips
I always like to share anything I can through my experiences to help you avoid mistakes I make and and/or use tools that I used that did help!! Here are some tips if YOU are considering going through this process.
1) Definitely eat a healthy diet, there was one week where I really craved more carbs and sugar but other than that I stuck to my usual nutrition! Focus on veggies water, and healthy fats to support your fertility process!
2) Are you on the fence about fertility treatment? there are lots of other things too try first including changing your diet and lifestyle! In fact, several of my personal clients have “accidentally” become pregnant after working together when previously it had been more difficult. Personally, had cancer not forced my hand, I wouldn’t have chosen this for myself. I spent several years working on my hormones and balancing them naturally! I even eliminated my PMS completely and regulated my cycled to 28 days! There are lots and lots and lots of books and resources out there so I would’t recommend IVF as your FIRST step…but sometimes it’s a necessary step so don’t let yourself feel guilty if it IS something you need to go through either!
3) Vitamins. Things like curcumin, fish oil, multi vitamin and protbiotics are beneficial almost always, but certainly when you are trying to keep your inflammation low and your digestion regular!! I was really happy that I didn’t experience a lot of discomfort BEFORE the procedure. They kept indicating that I would, but I didn’t!
4) Definitely over hydrate as soon as you begin to take the medicines. When I started taking the shots I didn’t realize you could get dehydrated and I got behind at first. Staying up on your water intake REALLY helps - be proactive!!!
5) Be aware of the constipation reality. It’s not helpful and it’s not fun. Consider starting the day before retrieval with a natural laxative and get as much water in you as possible prior to the surgery cut off/ fasting time!!
6) Regardless of how natural or healthy you are, do NOT shy away from the real pain meds if you need them. They exist for times like this and will help you get through the first 24-48 hours!!!!
7) Remember- you CAN do this, Your body is designed to do amazing things, and it will recover and heal, and you can always assist it in detoxing this process as well. Remember to build up a really great support team behind you - that makes the BIGGEST difference!!!
8) Speaking of support teams - get a family member or friend to make dinner the night of the surgery. You may be drinking liquids and downing bone broth, but it’s extra helpful for your family to have some extra food that you don’t have to stress about!!!
9) And finally, when you ARE taking lots of NSAIDS or pain RXs, consider taking some supplements to protect your tummy and gut lining, I, again, got a little behind on this day 1 and could start to tell that my tummy wasn’t happy about it. Since then I’ve been careful abbot taking GI Response which is a poster supplement you blend with water that contains L Glutamin which repairs your epithelial cells, and skipper elm, marshmallow root etc that help soothe and heal as well.
Have you been through IVF???
What was YOUR experience??? Share below!
Massaged Kale with Fennel Salad
This salad is delightfully nourishing and gives you all the benefits of kale, without the digestive distress. When you massage kale you break down some of the tough fibers in the cell wall that make raw kale hard to digest.
If you normally have trouble digesting kale the solution is to either steam your kale or massage it. This recipe is one of my clients favorites! You still get all the amazing benefits of raw kale: the enzymes, magnesium, vitamin C and more.
Massaging nourishing oil and lemon juice into the kale also help make the nutrients more bioavailable and easier to assimilate. Plus, it tastes delicious and can be paired with grilled chicken or fish for a classic healthy meal.
Ingredients
1 bunch kale, chopped
1 large lemon, juiced
1 large garlic clove, minced
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt and black pepper to taste
1 cup shredded carrots
1 cup chopped celery
½ cup thinly sliced fennel (optional if you don’t like the taste of licorice)
¼ cup pine nuts
Directions
Add kale to a large mixing bowl along with lemon juice, garlic, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Using clean, bare hands, massage the kale until it is wilted (about 2 to 3 minutes).
Once the kale is ready, top your salad with carrots, celery, fennel, and pine nuts. No extra dressing is needed.
If kale is something that’s hard to digest for you, there might be a deeper issue that needs to be addressed. If you want to be able to eat whatever you want and have no digestive issues, you need to check out my gut health program. These principles have truly transformed my life as well as countless others.
Check out my new 6 week program Stop Dieting and Live Your L.I.F.E - Discover your #YOUtrition launching February 11! Or join me for one of my upcoming webinars where you will learn more about your #YOUtrition and have the chance to ask me any questions!!
No Room at the Inn - an open letter to American Churches in December
“No room at the Inn”
An open letter to American
Churches in December
* NOTE: I would like to state, after some concern from friends after reading this that I in no way harbor bitter feelings towards my church and this post is more of a general reflection on the progression of our church society as a whole. As uncomfortable as it is to share, everything in this blog is true and some of it is my experience from the PAST. NOT everything in this post is directed to MY specific church. I know many people who struggle with the same “lack of fitting in” for better terms, and in fact it was events OUTSIDE of my own church in the PRESENT that prompted this post to be written. I have the utmost love and respect for my church which is why I continue to attend.
I generally avoid public statements of unwelcome opinion for several reasons 1) It’s not good for business. Plain and simple. We all know those Facebook friends that spew political or religious hatred on their public platform and it makes us either unfriend them or view them differently. And it certainly doesn’t make us trust them or want to work with or buy products from them. 2) It’s not who I am. The older I get the more moderate I become. I can see both sides, I can empathize with a lot of different opinions and heaven forbid, I can even maintain friendships and hold conversations with people I disagree with on many many levels. 3) It’s often a poor representation of Christianity. When people claim themselves to be Christians and then spew negatively charged opinions everywhere without a heart to understand the other person or to actually work for change, it gives my faith a bad name.
In that spirit, I will not only strive to shed light on a subject I feel is becoming more and more of an issue in our modern church society, but try to do it in a kind manner and in a way which instead of simply ranting about an issue, suggests solutions as well.
Simply put, well trained musicians are getting told there is no room for them in the church and it’s not only hurtful and sad but a gross underuse of God given talent and abilities. But why is this happening?
“It’s not the direction we’re moving”
Yes, I have been told this very thing. After two years of directing my church’s Christmas Eve service, we sat down to discuss moving forward and I was getting a lot of pressure to make it more contemporary. That is not in my skill set and I said so, but I was willing and had already been using “contemporary” musicians and including “modern” sets. What I was not really willing to compromise on was the quality of music, utilizing the talent we had within the church as the primary objective, and doing anything that was too unfamiliar to people. This, of course, meant that I gave up my position.
To me, the saddest part of that is not that I “lost my job” or that I missed creating the program….yes of course all of those things are true. Planning the Christmas Eve service was a delight for my heart, an outlet for my musical gift, and a way for me to connect to others in the church in a new and fun way. But that was not was saddened me the most. I was devastated that those church members that came out of the woodwork to participate with their individual musical talents, no longer had a place to go. They would once more disappear into the background and let their their talents go to waste…..simply because they weren’t welcome. It wasn’t the direction the church was moving….they were once again left behind.
You see, in my mind, Christmas is the most traditional day of the year. The Holiday is hundreds of years old, as is most of the religious Christmas music. There are Christmas drinks, Christmas carols, and Christmas traditions that every family knows about and enjoys. There is something satisfying, comforting and unifying in this and when people come to church on Christmas Eve they expect some level of familiarity. They expect to sing “Angels We Have Heard on High” and end the evening with a candlelit version of “Silent Night”. I would argue that this expectation crosses generation and denomination it has become so ingrained.
But over the past 10-15 years there has been a shift in the church. Some churches no longer want to recognize tradition and actively push it away. We are left singing songs that we don’t recognize with melodies and bridges that people cannot easily sing along with. And instead of a large room filled with joyous people singing “Joy to the World” because their hearts have memorized the words from childhood, we are left with smoke machines, lights, solos on stage, and a church audience mumbling through a modern addition to “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” that they have never heard before.
2) “Your voice is too pretty it’s distracting”
Well trained musicians who have spent their time and money on years of education and developing their God given gifts are being told that they don’t fit in……in CHURCH. There is no place for a trumpet, a classically trained voice, a clarinet, or a brass quartet. But there is room for a violin because hey, that’s hip.
Things have shifted from taking a look at the flock you have, utilizing their talents, encouraging them to grow, and creating this place of excitement, participation and beauty….into a desire to be cool. This desire to be perceived by guests in a cool way, leads to an attitude of ignoring the opinions of those in the church that are steady, constant and participating members in an effort to reach out to non members.
Now don’t misunderstand me, I think there is a balance to be struck. You must seek out new attendees. It’s the church’s job to spread the gospel message and unless the church is a moving church, the goal then would be to have new members come to you….But there is a fine line between evolving with the times, and being disrespectful of the past.
Too often I have seen the older generation completely dismissed. But when I stood back and took a look at it, I realized it wasn’t the older generation….it was simply anyone young OR old, that held a traditional (or frankly different) thought.
As the church grows, it needs to water the plants it has while planting other seeds. Otherwise roots of bitterness will grow among the established garden and not only does this impact them, but it chokes out the newbies as well.
Yes I went all Bible parable on you - the point is - do you want a church that rejects people or a church that accepts people? Acceptance includes everyone, not just those that share the same musical taste as you. It includes the guitarist who learned to play by ear, the trumpet player who played in HS, the flutist who got her masters in performance and the drummer who can add a funky beat to “I saw three ships come sailing in”. This would be mutual respect and collaboration. Modern pop stars are showing us every day how “cool” it really CAN be to blend new instruments with old tunes and add a new zest to traditions (thanks Lindsey Stirling!)
3) Jealousy amongst members
This is one of the most human responses a church can have. In a more contemporary church, the well trained musician may easily look at someone without training and think “Well clearly, I am better” and the untrained musician who learned by ear may be shocked that the other MUST have music to perform and doesn’t do well reading guitar chords….the truth is that both have talents. Gifts that need to be expressed and used. They are different, but both valuable. A wise leader can use both. A jealous leader rejects those that are unfamiliar and only invites those that speak the same language.
On the other hand, there are some churches that still practice traditional music weekly. They sing carols and perform Christmas cantatas. In these churches jealousy may appear in the form of choir members not appreciating trained musicians coming in to collaborate and participate with them when they aren’t regular members.
This of course is understandable - why should someone you don’t know, come in and perform with you just for the Holiday - and in some instances get paid to do it?
But I would encourage those churches to take a new perspective. Perhaps to solve the problem you don’t offer to pay any guests, but every church should be willing to invite others in in whatever capacity they are gifted. Maybe your church cantata is the only opportunity that soprano has to sing the music she loves once a year. Maybe it’s the only Christmas music outlet the music education major has to play the tympani.
Do you really want to be the choir member that said “You’re not welcome here.” ?
So what do we do now?
The church should be the FIRST place that your God given gifts and talents are accepted, encouraged, and utilized but instead, more and more musicians are being told they are unwelcome, don’t fit in and therefore never get a chance to use their gift in church.
Our attitudes are what get in the way. Preconceived notions (from both traditional and contemporary sides) are formed and it causes a rift between friends. Entitlement and and unwillingness to try to communicate in new ways is crippling.
I would encourage a new perspective. One that may just provide the best Christmas Eve service you’ve ever had. One that is different, inclusive, exciting, and beautiful. One that utilizes familiarity, surprise, tradition and new ideas all at the same time.
The simplest way to do this would be to take stock of what is currently available. Get to know each individual that has musical abilities, talents and skills. Who plays an instrument? Who sings? Who is good at sound? Lights? Drama? Find out who is willing to help you. Who WANTS to participate?
Create around that. Instead of beginning with a play, write the script as the actors show up and then fill in the blanks.
Sure if you make it an open invitation you may get that one wobbly soprano or the nervous high school kids. So what. Your Christmas Eve may end up a little more Charlie Brown and a little less TSO. What is the heart of Christmas? What is the purpose of worship? What truly, is your goal here?
Christmas, and church, is about love. It’s not about perfection. It’s about celebrating each other and building each other up. IT’s about a community you cannot find elsewhere. It’s about this beautiful gift that God gave us in the baby Jesus that literally changed the course of the world and our lives. There are beautiful songs that can be sung by beautifully well trained voices and new arrangements that can be created by talented musicians that taught themselves how to play in their bedroom.
There are verses that can be read by nervous children who anxiously waited for they day they get to wear that sparkly red Christmas dress they bought just for the occasion and there are carols that can be played by the 80 year old trombonist that you didn’t realize was sitting in the pew next to you.
Start at home. Try something new. Make room in your inn. And if someone knocks on the door from another church and asks to participate, embrace them with open arms because you never know. Their church may have already told them there was no room.
Merry Christmas from the Terhune’s :)
My experience with Emotional Code Therapy
Hey Hey Diva friends!
As I get deeper into the world of holistic health and functional medicine, energy work has been coming up more and more. At first I think "uh oh, take this woo woo with a grain of salt!" and it's true, you do need to be careful who you work with, and know what your personal and spiritual beliefs are and if they align with the practitioner you choose to see....
In my case, I'm a Christian and wholeheartedly believe in the spiritual realm which means there is a good side and a bad side to that. In working with someone on anything spiritual or energy related I would want to make sure I felt comfortable with the process and their point of view.
As skeptical as I have been in the past I am opening up to the possibility that emotional and energy work may be just as important as physical care in our future healthcare model. Consider this: You can find yourself in a traumatic situation and physically heal but if you have not emotionally recovered that event will follow you the rest of your life and may prevent you from healing physically 100%.
There is a spiritual aspect to healing that we don't fully understand and may never comprehend completely. Intuitively we do know that there are ties and cords, thoughts and feelings that come from or connect us to others that contribute to our physical health and if we are not vigilant in this area we may find that bitterness, depression and anxiety have a much stronger chance of taking hold when negative things happen.
A few months ago my friend introduced me to Lisa McCoskey who I interviewed on my podcast about her book The Living Well Code. Lisa happens to also be an emotional code practitioner and when my curiosity was peaked she gifted me a session with her daughter.
I had no idea what emotional code therapy WAS and when my initial session was over the phone I was thinking "is this girl psychic? this is weird....do i believe this? how is she doing this....this is so accurate!"....
Turns out, she was using muscle testing after "connecting to my energy" so she could walk through the session remotely.
I know I know...it sounds nuts but let me explain. Muscle testing, or kinesiology, is based on the belief that your subconscious knows the answers to questions and cannot lie. You can experiment with this theory at home by having a friend hold out their arm in front of you. Then ask them to say their actual name out loud. Once they have done that, press down gently on their arm and feel the resistance. Because they just spoke truth it should be pretty firm. Now repeat this a second time but have them identify themselves with another name "My name is...snoopy". Press down on their arm and you may notice that it falls down or is much weaker because their body did not resonate with that as the truth. Lies and deception actually make us physically weak..... Don't believe me? Try this with someone but DON'T TELL THEM what you expect to happen.
Again - totally skeptical here so I tried this at home and it's CRAZY how accurate this can be. Now, I'm not saying this is scientifically studied, and I'm not saying that there is no room for errors or manipulation here - BUT I am saying that there is much to the spiritual and energetic world that God created that we as conscious and limited humans may never fully understand and just because we don't understand it or because we think it's weird, doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't exist.
My actual experience:
The first session, like I said, was on the phone. In this session she identified 21 emotions in my heart wall that needed to be released. What was extraordinary about this, besides how many of them truly hit home, was that some were inherited. That's right...some of the emotions that I didn't really recognize as my own she was able to identify as inherited emotions/struggles.
Side note - doesn't the bible back that up? "...The sins of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations..." (Ex 34:7, Deut 24:16, Num 14:18 etc...). We are now discovering in SCIENCE how this is genetically true as well - genetic changes happening generations prior due to emotions and experiences are transferring down to children and grandchildren…so why not emotions?
The emotions identified were things like: unworthy, overwhelm, grief...etc..
Lack of control was one I could certainly relate to BUT was identified as an inherited emotion from an alcoholic grandparent. The whole process was fascinating. At the end of the session we RELEASED those emotions.
Now - because I'm a Christian and my practitioner was as well, I viewed the closing part as a prayer for release. I know that not everyone that goes through this process believes what I do and it may still be effective, but for me that makes sense. When you're able to identify these struggles you can end with a prayer for God to release them.
My second session was in person and even more crazy! The second session was really cool because I could physically see the muscle testing and understand more of the process. Definitely make it less woo woo when you see it happening right in front of you!
In the second session, we identified negative cords that needed to be broken. I.E. Negative emotions going from one person to another (in either direction). Which DUH makes sense....have you ever felt a weird connection to an old friend, an ex, or someone in your life and you don't know why? Have you ever suddenly thought about them a lot with no explanation? It's almost like you have an imprint on them and over time if that becomes negative that cord needs to be broken.
What was SUPER interesting was while we were going through THIS process a name came up that we needed to address later. Once we came back to that name she told me "That girl is a saboteur in your life". Yeah. that made sense. A saboteur is someone sending negative thoughts, wishes or energy your way and I could totally see that happening in this case. So we then started the process of identifying other saboteurs so we could break those connection as well.
You guys - this was a weird process and I had TWELVE people in my life that I needed to identify and break those connections with. Oddly enough every single one of them made sense to me - people that had been mean to me, people that were really snooty and looked down on me, people that are just really bitter unkind people....
I know, I know....it's getting weird. But here's the takeaway.....emotional code therapy is so gentle, if it works for you you'll save thousands of dollars on traditional talk therapy AND skip all the emotional pain you have to go through dredging those feelings up from your past. ECT can identify issues and help you let them go without any long, tearful sessions.
Think it's totally crazy? Maybe it is - the mind is a powerful thing so does it really matter if it works or if you only BELIEVE it works if the result is the same? Emotional healing is emotional healing and this is just another tool that may be more effective, gentle, and helpful for those who need it.
Want to try it? Schedule a session here.
What about you? Have you tried ECT? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences below!
You may also like these blog posts:
Are vitamin IVs right for you?
Hey Hey Diva friends!
WOW what a whirlwind this past month has been. My blogging has taken a serious hit with everything else going on - if you want to make sure you don't miss anything ( blogs, youtube videos, podcast episodes and more) make sure you're subscribed to my newsletter! I roundup everything I've been working on weekly and share it with my VIPS (pssst! thats you!) :)
I just got back from the 2018 Mindshare Summit in San Diego and I am STILL running running all day every day trying to keep up with everything I learned, the changes I'm making, connecting with new friends etc.... stay tuned... some SUPER exciting things are coming down the pike- I have a feeling 2019 is going to be AMAZING!
I'm also only a few days out from heading BACK to San Diego for the 10 year anniversary FDN conference. I'm particularly excited to meet all my fellow FDNs in an environment of networking, business education and further health education. I can't wait to learn more and more!
Because I knew that this month would be so busy (hello jet lag!) I wanted to give myself a boost and try some IV nutritional therapy (or vitamin IVs). I've been aware of them for a few years and didn't think much of it outside of extreme health cases or cancer treatment.
Like many things however, vitamin IV therapy can be used in many ways for many reasons and, because I always like to try things (within reason) before recommending them to my clients I began to search out local places to get them done.
I thought this month would be perfect to help boost my energy in between business trips. I figured the additional side effects of boosting my immune system and increasing my vitamin levels would be a bonus, but it turns out the timing couldn't have been better.
Just before my first IV, I received my Spectracell micronutrient testing results back and they showed a few vitamin deficiencies including a few B vitamins and Vitamin C.
There are many reasons for deficiencies like this, but since I'm still in the process of working on my own gut health and I just wrapped up a protocol to eliminate 3 (yes THREE) parasites, 2 of which were intracellular (meaning they wreak havoc on my cell structure) and a suppressed immune system, it made sense to me that the vitamins I am absorbing from my food - particularly vitamin C and B vitamins used for metabolism, energy production and immune system regulation would be depleted.....
SO back to the IV therapy! The timing was perfect. I received my test results only a few days before going into my first appointment. The particular clinic I went to is run by a doctor and so the initial patient visit was able to be submitted to insurance as my annual physical ( two birds!) but the IV treatments were/will be all out of pocket.
Once I got my physical, I showed the doc my tests results and began discussing the IV therapies. Luckily for me, this doc (one of only 2 I found in the area) is pretty flexible and actually asked if I'd like the IV that day. Knowing that I was traveling soon I said heck yes! And can I schedule another one for the 10 days I'm home in between trips?! :)
Depending on who you go to, you may be able to get personalized vitamin therapy - they mix the IVs before each one so you can actually change the dosage and types of vitamins in each bag. Most of the time they will offer certain popular combinations like the Meyers Cocktail, Vitamin C, or a Glutathione boost.
For me and my test results, a Meyers Cocktail addressed almost everything I needed anyway so instead of asking them to personalize it I just asked for a Meyers IV.
Meyer Cocktail
- B complex
- B12
- Vit C
- Magnesium
My experience:
The first IV was no problem! I hate needles and always get a little uncomfortable but other than a slight ache in my forearm it was no big deal. I had been curious how I'd feel since my only IV experiences have been in emergency situations where they pump you full of pain medications and by that point you really don't care about anything because you're so loopy!
The first IV was fairly slow - it took about an hour - once the nurse noticed it was going so slow she sped it up and it seems to go much faster.
Don't expect to come out of the office feeling way different- it's not something that takes effect immediately. Rather, you will probably notice results over the next few days to a week!
The next week I was having a great time in San Diego hob nobbing with some of the coolest people in the health industry and functional medicine fields. Being on west coast time and staying up late was EXHAUSTING and so I was super excited when I noticed one of the vendors was offering IV's right there at Mindshare! So of course, I signed up to get a boost.
Initially, I was going to get a full bag but I was running short on time so I opted for a smaller bag with just the B vitamins. This IV was super fast super easy, and super helpful midweek.
I had already scheduled a full Meyers cocktail for a few days after I got home and I figured it couldn't hurt to help me get back on track and minimize jet lag so I could be as productive as possible the 10 days in between trips. This IV didn't go off without a hitch but it wasn't too much of an issue- the nurse wasn't quite ready with everything and before she hooked up the IV I gushed blood but nothing painful or traumatic ha!
Overall I noticed that my energy and digestion both improved over the past few weeks. This was probably particularly effective for me since like I said I was actually deficient in a few of these vitamins to begin with, but most people who struggle with digestive issues, autoimmune conditions or chronic fatigue would most likely be in a similar boat and experience similar results!
Let's talk about the pros and cons:
Cons:
- Must pay out of pocket (approximately $130-180 per treatment)
- Take 1-2 hours of your day including drive time depending on location the office and duration of IV
- Difficult if you are squeamish around needles or blood
- Not many people offer these services so shopping around is difficult and you may not LOVE your provider if you have limited options in your area
Pros:
- Bypasses your digestion (super helpful for those working on gut health -this can be a HUGE boost in terms of speeding up your healing process and helping you navigate lifestyle changes by increasing your energy levels)
- Fast results! IV's get straight into your blood stream expediting your body's ability to absorb and utilize the vitamins immediately
- Optional treatment which means YOU are in control - you can request to get this done as often as you feel is helpful
- Can potentially be personalized - unique IV mix for YOUR nutritional needs
- Can help those with fatigue, pain, malnutrition, digestion problems, those who travel regularly or have vitamin deficiencies get a leg up and begin healing more quickly.
Takeaway
Overall, I found the experience to be incredibly helpful. I realize that this is a significant investment for most, but think about this...If you are someone struggling with fatigue to the point where you are missing work.....you are so tired you can't get out of bed to get your kids on the bus....your gut is damaged to the point where you aren't absorbing the nutrients from the awesome food you are eating....or you are spending hundreds of dollars on supplements that you can't properly utilize.....spending a few hundred bucks to get your body on track is SO WORTH IT.
Many don't realize that a something as simple as a vitamin deficiency can cause anxiety, inflammation, fatigue etc!!!!
After investing in the IVs you can maintain this level of energy and health through lifestyle, nutrition and targeted supplementation to keep you on track ( which is what I'm doing!). I'm currently supplementing with my deficient nutrients and will continue to do so for a few months before retesting to see if I'm back to normal.
Remember, supplements and protocols aren't for life. It's difficult to get what we need from our food particularly if you are really active, use a lot of energy during the day, live a stressful life, travel a lot, or struggle with chronic illness!!!
I would highly recommend giving it a try and researching good providers in your local area.
What are your thoughts? Have you, or
would you try nutritional IV therapy??
Hormone Supporting Coleslaw
say whaaaaaaaaat?!
Hey Hey Diva friends!! What the heck is hormone supporting coleslaw? Am I joking?! No my friends I am NOT and you should get EXCITED because this is one super healthy, super delicious, and (yay!) super EASY recipe....
Let's touch on the benefits of each ingredient first.
*This post contains affiliate links from Amazon*
Cabbage. Estrogen dominance is a very common hormonal imbalance in women. Processed foods that mimic estrogen, chemical exposure and poor detox ability can all contribute to estrogen dominance. Cabbage is a cruciferous vegetable and cruciferous veggies have phytochemicals called insoles which help you metabolize your estrogen down the healthiest pathway possible. (more on that when my next podcast drops on July 16!) In addition. green veggies in general are great for supporting your liver and digestion both of which are super important in regulating your hormone balance!
Coconut Mayo. This is your source of healthy fats. Healthy fats are CRUCIAL for balanced hormones. A low fat, low carb diet is often a precursor for hormone imbalances. Coconut oil provides nutrients needed for hormone production AND it can assist in calming inflammation.
Raisins. Mostly in here for flavor, raisins are a dense source of carbohydrates which (as stated above) are necessary in whole foods form and in healthy proportions to maintain hormone balance. Turns out, they are also a great source of magnesium, iron and boron which studies have shown boost your absorption of magnesium AND beneficially impact your use of estrogen.
Bacon - YES BACON. This is in here because well....it tastes darn good :)
Easy Peasy Coleslaw
Ingredients:
- Cabbage
- Applegate Sunday Bacon
- Organic Raisins
- Chosen Foods Coconut Mayo (or any other clean, healthy fat based mayo like avocado or olive oil)
Directions:
- Cut about half the cabbage into shredded pieces
- Cook the bacon until crisp
- Mix 2 large spoonfuls of mayo into the cabbage ( I actually melted mine down first to thoroughly coat the cabbage)
- Crumble the bacon onto the cabbage mix
- Add approximately 1/2 cup raisins or until it looks visually decent :)
- Mix well and keep refrigerated!
